Saturday, January 30, 2010

Let's talk about sex bay-bee......

Let's talk about sex bay-bee, let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk aBOUUUT sex.......

Ok, I know, enough of the salt n pepa song lyrics, LMAO!!! Do any of you remember this song circa 1991? It was the group's biggest hit, and was later re-written into "let's talk about aids" in order to recognize the growing new epidemic in the United States. Among other hits were "push it," and "Shoop" which reached number four on the pop charts, "Whatta Man," a duet with the vocal group En Vogue, reached number three on both the pop and R&B charts in 1994. A final single from the group was, "None of Your Business." It was a lesser hit, but it won the Grammy for Best Rap Performance in 1995. Since the release of the last album, Very Necessary, Salt-n-Pepa have been quiet, spending some time on beginning acting careers.

Anyway, what can I say besides......those crazy and up-beat rap songs still stick out in my brain from time to time. But this is not the point of this post, there is a bigger issue at hand.......and if you are faint at heart or pure as the driven snow, you may not want to read on (REALLY)..

I am frustrated......sexually. It is not that I don't get it, I just don't particularly enjoy it....
And yes I am cringing as I write this out cause

#1 it is kind of personal......
#2 BF would probably be very offended or even hurt.....
#3 I wonder what people will think of me for telling this to the world???

But I will continue with it because it is on mind, and it is a very serious issue for me. This blog should be a place that I can vent, get ideas, share experiences (good or bad), and get advice from others........AND SO IT WILL BE! Or at least I hope anyway.

I used to L-O-V-E sex, I mean really, really love to do it...... Now not so much.... Sometimes I just do it to pass the time, or to make BF happy....... but my mind wanders to other places even during the act. WTF? What happened to me? Actually I am pretty sure I have it figured out myself.......

I will not open myself up to "love" yet, and in turn that makes it hard for me to enjoy, or get into sex like I did with the (ex) husband. I think a lot of your sexual experiences depend on how you feel about the person you do it with..... (not that I don't love BF, I just feel like I hold back a lot, after being hurt so much).
The new BF doesn't "get me there," you know, with the big O...... And I just get all depressed thinking..... If I stay with him, will it always be this way for me? Will I live in misery because I am not "satisfied" in that way? Or is it just a "mechanical" problem that will straighten out over time when we know each other better, are more comfortable, and when my feelings are stronger???

For the sake of sparing BF's feelings.....I need to say that he is great, but he doesn't have much experience with women.....He is one of those "rare finds" that respects women, and will not just jump into bed for a one night stand, so therefore he spent much of his life alone.....I jokingly say he was "WAITING FOR ME!" And NO he is not ugly, ROFL, he just always thought love would find him one day when the time was right, and guess what, it did! But that is another story, today I am wondering WTF I am going to do because of his choice to be celibate and not get more than a few (ok maybe 4) notches under his belt before me, LMAO!!!!!


  1. You might have to get a little tipsy and show him how to get the job done.

    I'm 'meh' on sex these days. Just too much going on for me to even think about it. By the end of the day I'd rather get some sleep.

  2. Oh, Sweetie, I can one-up you there. My husband was celibate for FIFTEEN YEARS and had only had one notch on his belt before we got together. In this case, you know what works for you and you just need to gently educate him. I really agree with Tracie - get a little tipsy and take that boy to school!

  3. ROFLMAO!!! I just busted out laughing @take that boy to school!! Thanks for the advice ladies....things are getting better, but SLOWLY!

  4. Ok, ready for the guy's point of view? Most dudes I would imagine are selfish in bed. You need to take control a little and tell him exactly what it is that you want/need.


Give it to me straight from the heart.....