It is time for me to get off the sidelines and into the game. I have been reading all these posts about people losing weight, working out, and gettin' HEALTHY! By the way, YOU GO GIRLS!!!
Anyway, now it is my turn to join in.....
I don't need to lose any weight, for once in my life I am happy about that number, but this comes after already losing 221 pounds (the highest amount I lost was 231-but I started to look like I had been hitting the crack pipe, ROFL). My top weight was 369 pounds, and yes I cringe when I write it.
I was always the "fat kid." I was teased and tormented all through school and outside of school, and basically everywhere for that matter. I was ashamed to be in my own skin, I hated myself. There were years that I kept my head down not being able to look in their eyes, being embarrassed, and physically shutting down (having panic attacks). I couldn't take the hurt anymore, I could see the disgust on their face when they saw me. It really was horrible, and I get a stabbing pain in my gut while I type this........a pain that I thought was long gone....
Funny, I can still feel all that pain, and it makes me sad.....even though I am a new woman now. I am a butterfly that emerged from the cocoon that held an old dumpy caterpillar.....I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am finally comfortable with the way I look.
Remember when we are little and we blow out our birthday candles and get a wish? Wanna know what I wished for year after year? To lose weight. I would also pray to God to help me lose weight, throw pennies in a wishing well, shooting stars, rainbows, any wish making occasion..... you can bet that is what I begged for! Then one day my wish came true:) So here I am.
I now weigh a lovely 148 pounds, which may be heavy for some people, but is perfect for my large frame. And considering I weighed 160 in the third grade, this is a number (148) I haven't seen in a LONG TIME, but I have been here for 2 years. I went from Super Morbidly Obese, to Morbidly Obese, to Obese, then overweight, and finally normal..... But like I said, here I am, I made it.
There are still things I would like to revise though.....
1. I have bad eating habits.... I want to learn to stay away from SUGAR (yikes, that is scary)
2. I drink pop...... yes it is diet, but still not good for me at all
3. I am vitamin deficient.... I need to take vitamins for life, but usually forget daily
4. I get no kind of exercise.... I got so weak after the weight loss, I gave up, but I would like to find an activity I could do to help me rebuild some strength, and regain some energy
5. I don't drink enough water......I am usually nearly dehydrated at any given time, and have had to have I.V. drips to replenish my body, which actually makes me feel so good I wish I had one now, ROFL........and it was just saline (water) coursing through my veins, not heroine, but man that sh*t felt good. AHHHHHHHH!
Anywho, these are some things I am going to work on.....I am hoping I will start to feel better, get more energy and less sugar crashes, caffeine crashes, carb crashes! Wish me luck..... I wish you all luck every time I read your posts!! I know how you feel......