Wednesday, January 27, 2010

On the to speak

It is time for me to get off the sidelines and into the game. I have been reading all these posts about people losing weight, working out, and gettin' HEALTHY! By the way, YOU GO GIRLS!!!

Anyway, now it is my turn to join in.....

I don't need to lose any weight, for once in my life I am happy about that number, but this comes after already losing 221 pounds (the highest amount I lost was 231-but I started to look like I had been hitting the crack pipe, ROFL). My top weight was 369 pounds, and yes I cringe when I write it.
I was always the "fat kid." I was teased and tormented all through school and outside of school, and basically everywhere for that matter. I was ashamed to be in my own skin, I hated myself. There were years that I kept my head down not being able to look in their eyes, being embarrassed, and physically shutting down (having panic attacks). I couldn't take the hurt anymore, I could see the disgust on their face when they saw me. It really was horrible, and I get a stabbing pain in my gut while I type this........a pain that I thought was long gone....

Funny, I can still feel all that pain, and it makes me sad.....even though I am a new woman now. I am a butterfly that emerged from the cocoon that held an old dumpy caterpillar.....I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am finally comfortable with the way I look.

Remember when we are little and we blow out our birthday candles and get a wish? Wanna know what I wished for year after year? To lose weight. I would also pray to God to help me lose weight, throw pennies in a wishing well, shooting stars, rainbows, any wish making occasion..... you can bet that is what I begged for! Then one day my wish came true:) So here I am.
I now weigh a lovely 148 pounds, which may be heavy for some people, but is perfect for my large frame. And considering I weighed 160 in the third grade, this is a number (148) I haven't seen in a LONG TIME, but I have been here for 2 years. I went from Super Morbidly Obese, to Morbidly Obese, to Obese, then overweight, and finally normal..... But like I said, here I am, I made it.

There are still things I would like to revise though.....

1. I have bad eating habits.... I want to learn to stay away from SUGAR (yikes, that is scary)
2. I drink pop...... yes it is diet, but still not good for me at all
3. I am vitamin deficient.... I need to take vitamins for life, but usually forget daily
4. I get no kind of exercise.... I got so weak after the weight loss, I gave up, but I would like to find an activity I could do to help me rebuild some strength, and regain some energy
5. I don't drink enough water......I am usually nearly dehydrated at any given time, and have had to have I.V. drips to replenish my body, which actually makes me feel so good I wish I had one now, ROFL........and it was just saline (water) coursing through my veins, not heroine, but man that sh*t felt good. AHHHHHHHH!

Anywho, these are some things I am going to work on.....I am hoping I will start to feel better, get more energy and less sugar crashes, caffeine crashes, carb crashes! Wish me luck..... I wish you all luck every time I read your posts!! I know how you feel......


  1. You lost 221 pounds??? WOW! Congrats! Following along and check out this friend of mine's page who's also on the weight loss trail (like myself)

    Also - thanks for following my page :)

  2. You're amazing! I'd love to be 148 right about now and I'm only 5 feet tall. If you can lose that much, certainly I can get off my arse and lose the 45 I want to.

  3. You inspire me too. I'm with GunDiva and want to lose 45lbs. It seems like a mountain to me, but obviously it is manageable. You are an amazing woman!

    (Thanks for being my newest follower!)

  4. Holy moly!!! You are AMAZING!! How long did it take to lose all that weight? I think it is good that you are aware of a few things that you want to improve upon. What about taking one a month and working on that. It can be overwhelming to think about all at once. I say start drinking more water. I will too, and hopefully that will cut down on the diet soda in both our lives. ha!

    And yes! Your son is a beautiful red head!! Delia was also a surprise, as I had blonde as a kiddo (brown now), and my husband has dark hair now. He did have reddish hair as a baby, but it did not stick around too long.

  5. Oh my gosh! You are incredible! I need to be working out also and I'm inspired by you! Take it one thing at a time. You can do it.

  6. that's a heck of a lot of weight to lose! how did you do it? I could totally write a post about my weight issues but I can tell you, not gonna happen. you're braver than I am.


Give it to me straight from the heart.....