Saturday, March 27, 2010

Ok, really, here are some pics, that took all freakin' day to load up!!!

Baby girl by the school bus, on our night out at the park (school)...does this pic look skewed or is it just me?

Babies being silly wearing their shades!!

I had more pics but was unable to upload. Poor Bubby only got one shot of his mug, LOL. Maybe I can get some more pics up later.....

Friday, March 26, 2010

How about some pictures?

Ok.....I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.....I have been busy.......with kids, school, homework, my new book club (reading RunAway Jury, then we are going to watch the movie). Don't worry though, I have finally caught up on all my blog reading (thanks to Google Reader!!), so basically I have read all of your posts, the comments, and comments you guys have left each other......LOL, I try hard to keep up, but most times I fail.

Anyway, since it has been so warm (until today, LOL), we have been getting the kids out of the house so they can play....It is really fun! Since we are in the country, we even let them ride in the truck sandwiched between us, with the middle seat bealt around them, which they think is the greatest thing ever!! Monday we took them to the dollar store way out in the middle of no where (we didn't even know it was there) and they got to pick out a toy. Bubby got two little pistols (guns) and shot out the radio all the way home. Miss Priss got two my little ponies, then cried for one of Bubby's guns to shoot (which I knew would happen all along!). Then Wednesday night (Tuesday they were with Satan) we got them some food through the drive-thru and went to a school to play on the playground.....Was seriously a blast, in between "the fits" of course.

On the drive home, I had to threaten them with the police are behind us, ROFL, wish you could have seen their face! Priceless!! Anyway, I think my Mom must have told them this before because we had a big conversation (imagine with a 2 & 3 yr old) about being locked in cages, bread and water, and we all concluded that Papa would have to come get us out.

I have so many pictures, but every time I try to upload them, I sit here for 45 minutes on the first one, then it times out and I get NOTHING. So, sorry......maybe I can get some pics up at some point.
I think since I have a DSLR camera, my pictures have too much memory, therefore it takes longer to load, etc. Blah, Blah, Blah!!!!! And ofcourse my computer signal SUCKS!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Trying to post from phone....

I got a new phone last night. It won't let me do everything, but it looks like I can do a quick post:)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Poop Story.......Part 2

OK, Here is another story that happened recently that has to do with......well......poop!

The other night as I was putting baby girl to bed I smelled something funny...For the record, me and smells do not get along, I have a VERY sensitive sniffer.....just ask anyone I know, I am a freak that way!

I started investigating the smell that was looming around baby girl....was it her hair? her pj's? her blankets? the carpet? Her cup? was her cup that had the offensive odor on the outside of it (I knew the juice was fresh). So I started to wonder WTF had made her cup I smelled her hands..... WOWSER! The little baby hands about gagged me! But why did her hands smell so bad??

So I start checking around looking for something....anything in her her diaper.....then I found IT! She had a big GLOB OF SHIT right there on the outside of her wrist......Of course I start screaming....  How did you get poooooooooooooop on you? Where is the poooooooop? Why does your hand have pooooooop on it?  Then I spin around on BF and start questioning him....... Where the F*ck did she get shit on her hand? Why weren't you watching her? FIIIIIIIIND IT!

Poor guy gets so tore up......he is so calm/quiet/non confrontational..... he just starts going from room to room searching for the offender....."the poop."

I tell baby girl.......don't move.......don't touch anything......stay right here until I get back!!! So I run into the kitchen, get a rag.....while I am in the kitchen, I see that there is a glob of shit on the side of the trash can....on the trash bag.....I have no idea how it got there, who or what it was long it has been freaking idea..... I figured when baby girl went to throw her brownie paper away....she got "the poop" on her hand, then transferred it to the cup.....etc.

Anyway, I wet & soap up the rag.....go back into the babies room and there is baby girl.....laying in her bed in the exact same spot I left her.....with her arm stuck straight up in the air.....poor thing was afraid to budge! GOOD GIRL!! Funny, that is the first time she has ever listened to me....guess she was as traumatized as I was!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Everybody has a POOP story, right? PART 1

As I read people's blogs I notice that everyone has a poop story......So I figured I would try my hand at telling my own stories......Who knows, I may do a mini-series on it.

When I met Satan (ex) his youngest son "Bob" had just turned 13 (and was to say the least, a "problem child"). After I had been around for a while I learned a BIG SECRET about Bob........
Yep, a 13 year old, foul mouthed, disrepectful, combative teenager, couldn't go the the bathroom to do #2. 

Anypoop, every night at the dinner table, the kid would shit before he sat down. I wanted to die...I had to try and choke down my food when all I could smell was SHIT! I finally sat the big Satan-myster down and said, somethings gotta give. I never wanted to humiliate the kid, but someone needed to help him, or teach him better. But no one ever did (and me being only his dad's gf, all I could do was bitch about it), and he did this until he was 15!!

Here are some of the other issues I dealt with with this kid.....easier to list them

1. One night we had a family game night, and the kid shit in the chair beside me, when he got up the whole seat of the chair was covered and I had to scrub it out!!
2. I found a corner of his closet that was full of his shitty underwear, under his bed, etc.
3. His room stunk so bad, the door had to be closed at all times
4. Febreeze was my bestie!!
5. I made the kid do his laundry seperate (downstairs) in a total different washer because it took 3 cycles to get the smell out of mine.....and all of my work clothes started to smell like shit!
6. I told him that it was unsanitary and he was going to kill us all by spreading shit all over the place!! LMAO
7. He would get in the shower to wash the shit off of himself every night, sometimes we had to MAKE HIM
8. Once we went to Olive Garden and he shit at the table, so Satan sent him next door to the mall.
9. Satan's mother, (kid's granny), wanted me to wash the shit out of his clothes before he washed them, or instead of throwing them away....NOT! I wouldn't go anywhere near any of it!
10. One time I picked up a dog toy out of the floor, only it wasn't a small toy, it was a PIECE OF PETRIFIED SHIT!! When I figured this out I screamed and threw it across the room, cussed really vulgar, then decided I should have shoved it down his neck!!

He finally stopped doing it after our house burned down. We moved in with Satan's parents, and Granny went to the store, bought some adult diapers and made him put them on......(YIKES).....he never did it again, go figure! I did say that he couldn't live with us in a brand new house and smear shit all over it.....

As I look back, WTF was I thinking, I was 24 years old, dealing with a 13 y/o kid that shit all over everything.......Why didn't I run as fast as I could out of there?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Repeating my childhood........

I have realized that the choices I make in my life are similar to what I watched/experienced as I grew up...

My dad was an habitual cheater, struggled with addictions, and was pretty careless for my mother's feelings in general. Does this ring a bell? This is exactly like my ex/Satan!!!

No matter what my Dad did to Mom......she always took him back. I can remember her crying endlessly (she still does). They broke-up/made-up more times than I can count......It was a hard life for us kids. When he left it was awful.....Mom was mean and bitter and sad......and us kids suffered because of it. When I was older I started leaving with Dad when he moved out. So this meant I got shoved off on what ever family member at the time would keep me. I remember switching schools in 5th grade (for 2 weeks), then we went home (back to Mom's house). IT. WAS. MISERABLE......A few times me and Dad actually slept in his car. When I turned 17 I started to stay with other people.....friends, my Mamaw, my Poppy, my older sisters...etc. But I quickly realized no one wants to take care of a "stray" child. Even though this lifestyle was not my fault, I didn't feel any sympathy, only resent from the people who had to take care of me.

At 18 I got a job, got my own place, and vowed to NEVER live that way again. I could take care of myself. From that point on I was always in control, always took care of myself, always had a job and my own car. I was very independant. During this time I had on again/off again boyfriend, but I always landed back on my feet cause I controlled my finances, and had a safety net with my employment. This continued until I was 24. I met Satan....later got married.....then gave up my safety net.

I knew it was a mistake to quit my job, but I did it anyway to appease the husband.....a few months later he was gone, and this time I had 2 kids and NO NET....NO JOB.....NO PLACE TO GO.....NOTHING.
I let him steal my independence! This is why now I feel like I am free falling with no where to land, and it all seems out of my control.

Anyway, my point is.....I realize why I let Satan control my emotions, why I can't move on, love him through it all. I watched my mom do the same thing when I was growing up (my whole childhood was like this!)

My dad was a good father towards me (emotionally), but a horrible husband, provider, stable influence!! I learned the wrong lessons from my parents (especially mom).....I learned to accept the BAD and not value myself enough to want more.

With this knowledge though, I want more, I do want better for myself!! Starting college again has given me a renewed hope for higher acheivement. Not just in education, but for my life...(also both parents only went to the 9th grade). I vowed I never wanted to live the life my parents did.....and I certainly didn't want the same for my kids....

So I will prevail for my family. However it ends up!! I will chose to make a stable environment for us! But let me tell you, it is hard to overcome 30 years of the same mistakes (whether I made them, or lived them through the parents).....But it can be done!!!!

Second Day of School....

Well classes today were a little different.....the teachers kept us longer, talked more, expected more out of us LOL!  I wish I could trade my classes so the afternoon ones would get out earlier.....I don't care if the morning classes go long since I am going to be there all day anyway. It figures that I would have a short morning class/long afternoon class!!!!

It is all good though, I am excited about it (hope that doesn't wear off) and it still seems manageable. BUT I still have no idea what this degree will set me up for job/career wise.....I have asked every teacher, career services, student services, financial planning, one can really tell me where I will be when I have a piece of paper telling me I have a degree in Business. They just say there are TONS of opportunities for me.....but what, where, when, how?????

That same guy from my morning class yesterday is in my Tuesday morning class as well......YAY FOR ME! Ok totally sarcastic there....I can't believe I have to listen to this freak so early in the morning, on both days I have to be at school. Today he continued to stun me with his stellar communication skills.

Example: We were discussing Toyota and their recalls/problems on some of their vehicles and here is what he said.......

"Man they crazy cuz, they inchin' and pinchin,' tryin' to make it seem like they doin us a favor by fixin' our rides"

I have no idea what that sentence he said means! Is it just me???

Oh I almost forgot....I ran into another "interesting" guy today while I was sitting in the break room eating my lunch. The guy busts in and starts talking (loudly) to another student.....I can't help but hear coversation.
He says he has been on 7 talk shows....I caught Jenny Jones, Maury (x2 or 3) then I got lost.....He said he had made a total of 30 television appearances......And he was PROUD of it. He then said it didn't matter if it was good or bad was all publicity, and it was all GOOD!

Wow......I bet I saw him on Maury though, LMAO, I don't remember, was he or wasn't he the baby daddy?

Monday, March 8, 2010

School Started Today......

I went to my first 2 classes today......I have a total of 4......

Thankfully, I was able to get my schedule to work in my favor. I have 2 classes each day, so I only have to go 2 days a week this term (Monday & Tuesday). So now, I will still have the rest of the week to get other things done:) Hopefully doing it this way I will be able to save on gas money (since school is about an hour away).

The professors seem nice and they are pretty laid back.....I think if I show up I should be able to pass!

My classes are:

-Accounting II

I have 12 credit hours from before, I have already taken Accounting I.....but it was 12 years ago, so I wonder how hard it will be to jump into Accounting II after so long???? I am sure it will be fine (ok, well maybe).....and thankfully this class is small maybe 6-10 people, so it should be easy to get some extra help if I need it, and there is tutoring that I can take advantage of.

I can already tell these classes are going to be interesting.....especially Monday mornings. There are several "lively" males in there that have an opinion about everything!

Here is what one of them said when the teacher asked what degree/program we are taking, and why we chose it.....

Student: My name is ...... ........, I am in Business cause I want to run my own company. I have family members that own businesses so I can get a job no problem, but I ain't fit to work for nobody cuz, know what I'm sayin'? I am tired of doin' all the work and makin' the chips. If I do all the work I wanna be makin' the bulk, you know what I'm sayin cuz?

Teacher: So you want to be in control of all the money if you do all the work, and you need a degree to help you develop your business?

Student: Well, I am probably a better hustler than you, but I gotta get that paper to get me on the same playin' field as you cuz, know what I am sayin'? I could start a business today cuz, but it be better with the degree, then I be makin' the bulk.

I wish you could have seen the teacher's face as he tried to keep up. It was pretty funny. I am amazed at how some people think that having a business degree will automatically give them the opportunity to create a company and make millions of dollars. Of course that is very ambitious, but is it realistic? It seems to me that it is harder than these outspoken students think it is to own/operate their own enterprise.

I am thinking about switching next term into an Accounting major instead of business. I think I might like it, but I am not sure.....Sometimes me and "numbers" don't agree too well. I am going to wait and see how my Accounting II class goes. If it is easy to understand I might try and get deeper into it. Right now I am trying to get my "feet wet" and decide which field of study will interest me more/give me more opportunities.

What do you think? Business Management or Accounting? There is double the number of students in business vs. accounting.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Late nights, worries, and more insults on top of injuries!

This week and part of last week was no where near good!

Satan asserted his "mind control" games, and has continued this for days on end.....until the inevitable BLOW UP that came and as always ended my "trying to be friends" or even speaking/being civil to this demonic MONSTER of a man, who has no conscience, or care for anything other than his self gratification, or getting his way. (he has proven 100 million times, he is not capable of any type of friendship with anyone......yet I fall for it EVERY TIME).

It always starts with the charm/flattery/sympathy (me towards him) and the same words always spill out of his mouth. Want to hear it?
You are the only woman I ever my life.
I miss you.......holding you at night, being with you, and basically everything we ever did together (he always gives specific examples to make me remember the "good times")
I am trying to change.......I want to do better, I am TRYING to get things straightened out.
I don't know how to fix myself or my life....(hmmmm, how hard is it Satan, that bad huh?)
You are the only one that ever loved me, and accepted me for who I am (hmmmm, wonder why you chase after whores that take your money and let you hand feed them pills? when you know they are USING you)
I don't want my kids to grow up seeing me this way......(well, why do it in front of them?)
You are the most beautiful woman soft & sexy......(so you want to SCREW me?)
I want to go to CHURCH on Sunday......well maybe if I can........(betcha a million the roof would cave in)
Let's call the preacher and talk to him......(do you think they can talk you straight?)
I am miserable, I hate my life, I am lonely and alone all the time........
I miss my family......
Please help me.......I need you to HELP me (really? cry to someone else ASSHOLE!)
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH-----you get the idea, right?

Anyliar, he has been having me bring the kids to his house....aka, my old home place.  His drug addicted, whore, lying ass, manipulating, money grubbing girlfriend calls every 5 seconds (maybe because she doesn't trust him?). This b*tch moved out, because she caught him cheating....but keeps closer tabs on him now than she did when she lived there! She is afraid he will take away her continuous supply of drugs he provides, and would never let anyone get in the way of that. She sits at her cushy apartment giving him orders.....while he sits at home alone every night.....and instead of even looking at him, she gets his son to bring her pills (from him) by the handful.....what is wrong with this picture????

Anywhore, I am instructed to be QUIET when she calls. (can you imagine?)......

Sunday night I dropped the kids off, then went home as usual, uneventful at first. Then at 10 that night, Satan called and said baby girl fell into the fireplace and busted her head. So I went out there again (almost an hour away)...when I got there, he had company....a nephew who was bringing him drugs, baby girl had fallen asleep already......I am still not sure if she actually even got hurt, or it was a trick to get me there. I got home at 2 a.m....

Tuesday night, same drill, I dropped the kids off. SHE calls.....but instead of being quiet like usual, I go about my business, talk to my kids, then I make sure she hears me......ofcourse she went off on him, then his son came in (age 18)....I think he is sleeping with her 12 year old daughter (seriously!), and while she is on the phone, the son is instructed to take her some of her stuff out of the house, and she is sent a handful of pills, and tells him he better call as soon as I leave, or he will REGRET it. So he tells me to wait, he goes locks himself in the bedroom (I am left watching the little kids, keeping them out of the knife drawer, etc.), he is telling her I am gone. Well at this point, I AM FED UP! I bust into his room and start screaming.....this sick f*cker never stops talking, just ignores that I am there, and proceeds to talk to her......I am going off, telling him to tell her the truth, tell her what he has been telling me, etc.....and that he needs to watch our kids so I can leave!! Finally he gets off the phone and I leave. I get home at 7:30.

He calls me as soon as I walk through the door......He is so MESSED UP he is slurring and slobbering, and keeps passing out on the phone.....Then I ask where my kids are. He has PUT THEM TO BED AT 7, because they cried after me when I left (of course they did, they kept telling me to take them back home). Again, I go off on him! I told him I want to come back and pick them up (I can hear them screaming for him from their cribs in the other room). He says they are fine and he will get them back up in a few minutes (he is clearly in no shape to be around them). I try and keep him on the phone to see what is going on......he is in and out of conscienceness......I get in my truck and go back to his house to rescue my kids.....When I get there both of his older boys are there (age 25/18)...

They don't see me outside, I can see all three of them in the window, lined up, snorting pills up their nose....I blow the horn, one of the goons comes out and tells me to come inside......Satan has fallen in the bathroom and busted his head this babies are asleep in their beds (thank GOD). I look in on them, I can tell they cried themselves to sleep, they are both in a diaper, no jammies on, not even covered with a blanket!!! We start fighting....he doesn't want me to take them.....I am going to, hell or high-water....We banter back and forth for an hour (it is almost midnight at this point).....The babies wake up, I go snatch them out of their beds....they are HUNGRY, upset, and confused because I am there. I feed them, then I put the jammies on that I brought from home, make them a cup of juice for the trip, and load them in the car......

I go back into his house to get their shoes and clothes.....He is on the phone with HER again and gives me the shusssh finger to his lips motion. I listen to him spew lies to her....he is saying the babies are asleep, no they are the only ones there, yadda, yadda, yadda.....I start screaming.....NO TELL HER YOUR WIFE IS HERE TOO, I am sure I said more but I was so enraged I can't remember......then I grabbed up their stuff in a hurry and left.....

When I got back into phone range I called HER! I told her what a stupid b*tch she was, and that I was wise to their little trips to Florida to get drugs...and I tell her everything else I know about her....She acts appalled and says she has no idea what I am talking about (I saw her name on the damn ticket). She is just like him, she lies, lies, lies!!! Since she can't argue with me because I am calling her bluff she hangs up on me......

Then Satan starts calling me.....he askes me what I have told her......I told him to NEVER, EVER CALL MY PHONE AGAIN....he calls 10 more times.....I don't answer......I get 2 messages.......I don't listen to them until the next day, and when I do I am hurt, again......He knows how to punch below the belt!!

Message #1 from Satan:
I have a prescription for all my pills.....SHE did accompany me to Florida, but she is not on drugs.....she was going down there to have a consultation for a "boob job," in a couple of months I will show you a picture of what a pretty set of boobs should look like.....ETC, ETC, ETC

Message #2 from Satan 5 minutes later:
I really need to talk to you......please call me back it is important....

I have not spoken to him since.....he called me last night (Wed.) and left a message......I have not listened to it. I don't know if it is more hurt towards me or what he wants.......I really don't care what he has to say.....

This man is INSANE.....who would ever talk to someone that way......ex or not, that is not right.....and I am just so confused all the time by minute I am his saviour, the next minute I am dirt under his feet...

I really have to laugh sometimes to keep from crying....

My kids have to visit him twice a I got a little taste of what they have to wonder they don't want to go......