Since all this crazy sh*t has been going on lately I thought I would take a break from the madness before I end up kicking one of my kids in the face....punching the bf in the neck....or gagging myself with a pitchfork!!!!
One year ago tomorrow is when I met my current BF. Funny how it happened, I met him in the WalMart parking let. Yep, sure did. There were several circumstances that happened that caused us to meet, so maybe it was meant to be.....
First of all, the back story.... I had heard of this guy (BF) from my husband several times... He had dated the local hairdresser of the town, & while he was dating her....my husband was too!! I had asked my husband several times when I caught him eating lunch with the HDW (hair dressing whore) who she was seeing (cause supposedly it was innocent and they were just friends cause she had a husband, and a boyfriend, I know, OMG), he would say....some boy that drives a white truck with a company name on the side. Anyway, long story short, the HDW went back to her husband....I found out my husband was messing with her........but we tried to work it out......and I found out she had just used the guy in the white truck to make her husband jealous and used him for all she could.... So I always figured he was probably a good guy, just mixed up with the wrong woman!! And he is no "boy" he is 34 years old!
Fast forward 8 months.
I had found out in December that husband was now screwing the clerk at the gas station!! We went through a lot of drama....then he finally left the house. In January I was to the point that I was depressed, lonely, feeling ugly, not eating, not sleeping, etc.... One day I decided to get dressed up, put make-up on, and get out of the damn house! Even if it was only to go get groceries..... So I did.
I went in WalMart and did some serious shopping, since I had been in a funk for a month, so I was out of everything and needed to re-fill the cabinets.
I got to the cash register and I had forgotten my check-book in the truck, I had to run outside to get it, while I was retrieving the check-book, a big white truck pulled up and parked diagonally to my truck (with the company logo that my husband had talked about). So I was like, OMG....that is HDW's BF, wouldn't it be funny if I dated him to p*ss off hubs and HDW?? So you know, I had already plotted this out in my head in case I ever ran into him.....funny how sh*t just happens!! All I could do is stare....I had never seen this "boy" as my husband called him before, so I wanted a closer look....But damn, the groceries, and the big line behind me!! I had to get back in the store.....so while I looked backwards the whole time and almost ran into a Jeep, I went back in. I loaded my $300. worth of groceries (was for a week back then, not a month like it is now, LOL), and I went back outside in the freezing cold and tried to put all that crap in the back of my SUV, believe me, it took a while!
So when I got done and got in with the heat blazing, I noticed that the guy had came out of WalMart also (with 1 bag of dog food, LOL).... So I sat there frozen (ok, only for a second....then I decided to put on some more lipstick, OMG, ROFL, I had never ever tried to be coy like I was attempting at this point, and I don't know WTF I was thinking anyway.... but it paid off). I sat there long enough that the dude went back inside the store, BINGO, here was my chance to leave a note on his truck.... I know, you are wondering why I didn't just go talk to him.... Well I am painfully shy, and can't handle rejection.... So I wrote a note as quick as I could....tiptoed over to his truck, lifted up the wiper, slid the note in......then ranasfastasIcouldjumpedinmySUVandflewoutoftheparkinglot!!! (yes I ran all those words together cause it all happened so freakin' fast!) I was scared, nervous, and didn't want to get busted when he came outside. But I can tell you I wasn't out of the parking lot before he was calling me:) We talked for a while, I ASKED HIM OUT, and he said yes how about tomorrow, and that was that!! We went out the next night......and I can tell you, there has not been one day that we haven't seen each other since then!!! And yes it p*ssed off both my husband and the HDW, she still to this day makes a scene every time she sees him (because she is all about drama!). And my husband calls him Cowboy...which I think is a cute little nick-name!!
So I want to give a big THANKYOU to my BF, who came into my life and gave me the strength to move out of my house, helped me with 2 crying babies who wouldn't sleep when we moved them out of there home, supported us when we had nothing, changes diapers, wipes snotty noses, puts them to bed with me at night, reads stories, gives hugs and kisses, takes abuse, and gives us all he has cause he says that is what real men do!!! I really do love this man..... I wish I had met him at another point in my life.... Where I was less jaded, less hurt, less emotional, so I could have given him all that I have to give. But he takes what I can give, and he is ok with it. Maybe one day I can love him with all of me...... If not I hope that I find that true love again, love that makes time stop and stand still, takes my breath away, causes my heart to skip a beat.....
Can a person love again after being hurt, or will you always hold part of yourself back??