Saturday, January 22, 2011

Bad news.....

My ex-husband passed away last night. It happened around 1:30 a.m. He was hit by 2 cars, while walking down the road. The doctors/surgeons/nurses/and staff worked on him for over an hour.... He got a pulse back 4 times, but finally the injuries consumed him.
I am sort of in shock right now! I can not accept that he is gone, I am afraid it will kill me.
How do you tell a 3 and 4 year old that their Daddy is gone forever? How will they ever know him the way that he used to be? Back before the drugs, when he loved us so much, when he doted on them and said how they were the 2 most beautiful babies he had ever seen? How will they ever know? How will I ever live with myself after all the bad things I said?

He said to me once, not too long ago, "If anything ever happens to me, will you tell them babies how much their Daddy loved them, will you tell them good things about me, do you promise?" I promised him I would. I promised him I would tell them about the man I once knew, all the good things we shared.

Anytime I ever asked him what was the best day of his life he would say, "the day Miss Priss was born, because things were so good back then."

I just want him to come back. I want all this to be some kind of awful joke. I want to wake up from this nightmare.

I have had a few spells here and there, but honestly, I don't think it has hit me yet. I packed his boots, a hat,  and a bag of cut up clothes out of the hospital tonight..... It is the most awful feeling ever.

P.S. If any of you have anything negative to say, don't. I can't handle it. This was my husband, and is the father of my kids. He deserves some respect now that he is gone.


  1. This is absolutely terrible. I hate that this had to happen to your kids. I'm sorry. :o(

  2. The loss of a life is always awful. I'm shocked at the news. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. I'm sorry for your loss, Mama Gayle. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I wish I could give you a hug. Talk about him with your bf, don't stay alone with your pain and your sadness. Don't keep it in. If you ever need to talk, you can always always email me, okay?

  3. Gayle, I'm sorry. However, the kids will do well. They'll miss their daddy, but they'll also only have the good memories that you'll be able to pass on to them, not the bad memories they were destined to have with his various addictions. The BF is good to them and they'll not be lacking for love in your household.


  4. Gayle I am so sorry to hear this terrible news! I know you are going through so many emotions right now. My husband's dad was not the best dad in the world and he cheated on his mom. But my husband only hear good things about him until he was in his early thirtys. He learn the bad things from other people but not his mom. I have a lot of respect for her because of this.
    I am so happy to hear that you are that kind of person too! I always new you were a Wonderful person and mom!! Don't have any regrets put your children first and that's the way it should have been. I am so glad you have a good boyfriend to take care of you and the kids. Talk to him honestly about your feelings so that he knows you love him but that you have to morn the loss of your childrens father. Wish I could give you a big hug. Email me if you need to talk or if you want my phone number....I have free long distance and can call you.

  5. Oh I am so so sorry for you loss, and for the loss for your kids. You and the kids will get through this. You will help them to remember the good times, tell them the positive stories, give them good memories...

    Hang in there hon.

    Sending hugs.

  6. Wow, I am soooo very sorry! I don't even have words right now! If you need to talk, email me and I will give you my number! Hang in there girl. You are strong!


Give it to me straight from the heart.....