Late nights, worries, and more insults on top of injuries!

This week and part of last week was no where near good!

Satan asserted his "mind control" games, and has continued this for days on end.....until the inevitable BLOW UP that came and as always ended my "trying to be friends" or even speaking/being civil to this demonic MONSTER of a man, who has no conscience, or care for anything other than his self gratification, or getting his way. (he has proven 100 million times, he is not capable of any type of friendship with anyone......yet I fall for it EVERY TIME).

It always starts with the charm/flattery/sympathy (me towards him) and the same words always spill out of his mouth. Want to hear it?
HIS WORDS:
You are the only woman I ever loved.......in my life.
I miss you.......holding you at night, being with you, and basically everything we ever did together (he always gives specific examples to make me remember the "good times")
I am trying to change.......I want to do better, I am TRYING to get things straightened out.
I don't know how to fix myself or my life....(hmmmm, how hard is it Satan, that bad huh?)
You are the only one that ever loved me, and accepted me for who I am (hmmmm, wonder why you chase after whores that take your money and let you hand feed them pills? when you know they are USING you)
I don't want my kids to grow up seeing me this way......(well, why do it in front of them?)
You are the most beautiful woman ever....so soft & sexy......(so you want to SCREW me?)
I want to go to CHURCH on Sunday......well maybe if I can........(betcha a million the roof would cave in)
Let's call the preacher and talk to him......(do you think they can talk you straight?)
I am miserable, I hate my life, I am lonely and alone all the time........
I miss my family......
Please help me.......I need you to HELP me (really? cry to someone else ASSHOLE!)
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH-----you get the idea, right?

Anyliar, he has been having me bring the kids to his house....aka, my old home place.  His drug addicted, whore, lying ass, manipulating, money grubbing girlfriend calls every 5 seconds (maybe because she doesn't trust him?). This b*tch moved out, because she caught him cheating....but keeps closer tabs on him now than she did when she lived there! She is afraid he will take away her continuous supply of drugs he provides, and would never let anyone get in the way of that. She sits at her cushy apartment giving him orders.....while he sits at home alone every night.....and instead of even looking at him, she gets his son to bring her pills (from him) by the handful.....what is wrong with this picture????

Anywhore, I am instructed to be QUIET when she calls. (can you imagine?)......

Sunday night I dropped the kids off, then went home as usual, uneventful at first. Then at 10 that night, Satan called and said baby girl fell into the fireplace and busted her head. So I went out there again (almost an hour away)...when I got there, he had company....a nephew who was bringing him drugs, baby girl had fallen asleep already......I am still not sure if she actually even got hurt, or it was a trick to get me there. I got home at 2 a.m....

Tuesday night, same drill, I dropped the kids off. SHE calls.....but instead of being quiet like usual, I go about my business, talk to my kids, then I make sure she hears me......ofcourse she went off on him, then his son came in (age 18)....I think he is sleeping with her 12 year old daughter (seriously!), and while she is on the phone, the son is instructed to take her some of her stuff out of the house, and she is sent a handful of pills, and tells him he better call as soon as I leave, or he will REGRET it. So he tells me to wait, he goes locks himself in the bedroom (I am left watching the little kids, keeping them out of the knife drawer, etc.), he is telling her I am gone. Well at this point, I AM FED UP! I bust into his room and start screaming.....this sick f*cker never stops talking, just ignores that I am there, and proceeds to talk to her......I am going off, telling him to tell her the truth, tell her what he has been telling me, etc.....and that he needs to watch our kids so I can leave!! Finally he gets off the phone and I leave. I get home at 7:30.

He calls me as soon as I walk through the door......He is so MESSED UP he is slurring and slobbering, and keeps passing out on the phone.....Then I ask where my kids are. He has PUT THEM TO BED AT 7, because they cried after me when I left (of course they did, they kept telling me to take them back home). Again, I go off on him! I told him I want to come back and pick them up (I can hear them screaming for him from their cribs in the other room). He says they are fine and he will get them back up in a few minutes (he is clearly in no shape to be around them). I try and keep him on the phone to see what is going on......he is in and out of conscienceness......I get in my truck and go back to his house to rescue my kids.....When I get there both of his older boys are there (age 25/18)...

They don't see me outside, I can see all three of them in the window, lined up, snorting pills up their nose....I blow the horn, one of the goons comes out and tells me to come inside......Satan has fallen in the bathroom and busted his head this time......my babies are asleep in their beds (thank GOD). I look in on them, I can tell they cried themselves to sleep, they are both in a diaper, no jammies on, not even covered with a blanket!!! We start fighting....he doesn't want me to take them.....I am going to, hell or high-water....We banter back and forth for an hour (it is almost midnight at this point).....The babies wake up, I go snatch them out of their beds....they are HUNGRY, upset, and confused because I am there. I feed them, then I put the jammies on that I brought from home, make them a cup of juice for the trip, and load them in the car......

I go back into his house to get their shoes and clothes.....He is on the phone with HER again and gives me the shusssh finger to his lips motion. I listen to him spew lies to her....he is saying the babies are asleep, no they are the only ones there, yadda, yadda, yadda.....I start screaming.....NO TELL HER YOUR WIFE IS HERE TOO, I am sure I said more but I was so enraged I can't remember......then I grabbed up their stuff in a hurry and left.....

When I got back into phone range I called HER! I told her what a stupid b*tch she was, and that I was wise to their little trips to Florida to get drugs...and I tell her everything else I know about her....She acts appalled and says she has no idea what I am talking about (I saw her name on the damn ticket). She is just like him, she lies, lies, lies!!! Since she can't argue with me because I am calling her bluff she hangs up on me......

Then Satan starts calling me.....he askes me what I have told her......I told him to NEVER, EVER CALL MY PHONE AGAIN....he calls 10 more times.....I don't answer......I get 2 messages.......I don't listen to them until the next day, and when I do I am hurt, again......He knows how to punch below the belt!!

Message #1 from Satan:
I have a prescription for all my pills.....SHE did accompany me to Florida, but she is not on drugs.....she was going down there to have a consultation for a "boob job," in a couple of months I will show you a picture of what a pretty set of boobs should look like.....ETC, ETC, ETC

Message #2 from Satan 5 minutes later:
I really need to talk to you......please call me back it is important....

I have not spoken to him since.....he called me last night (Wed.) and left a message......I have not listened to it. I don't know if it is more hurt towards me or what he wants.......I really don't care what he has to say.....

This man is INSANE.....who would ever talk to someone that way......ex or not, that is not right.....and I am just so confused all the time by him.....one minute I am his saviour, the next minute I am dirt under his feet...

I really have to laugh sometimes to keep from crying....

My kids have to visit him twice a week.....now I got a little taste of what they have to endure......no wonder they don't want to go......