For example, where you sit. When you are fat you have to learn how to judge the strength of a seat.
Back when I was fat, I can not count how many chairs that went crashing to the ground because my weight was too heavy for them to support. It was embarrassing.
- When I worked for State Govt. we had a break room. In this break room there was a table surrounded by those white plastic lawnchairs... I went to sit in one, one day, and BAM! I went crashing to the ground. The leg of the chair snapped under my weight and sent my a$$ flying into the concrete floor below. The next day there was a metal chair in its place (I am assuming this was just for me).
- When I sat at an old picnic table at my aunt's house. CRACK! The wood split right down the middle and my a$$ once again went splat onto the hard ground beneath me.
- Those vinyl camping chairs. Not good! I sat in one once and it sunk further and further down... Until my a$$ was 2 inches from the dirt. Then, I was so low, I was basically stuck in the chair. I had to have people help me out of it.
- We went to eat dinner at the neighbor's house one night. They had a dinnette set that had those wooden rails across the bottom. I propped my foot up on the rail.... Big mistake! The wood busted and went flying through the dining room in front of about 30 people. The old woman who lived there accidentally kicked a piece of it across the room. The other guests tried to dodge the pieces as they walked around the table. Me and my cousins were in "hysterics" because we were so embarrassed and all we could do was laugh our butts off! And because one of the friends that was with us kept on eating, oblivious to all the drama surrounding him. The old man at the table looked around and said, "Ya'll youngins tell me what is so funny and I'll laugh with ya!" I could have died!
- We had a couch with legs on it when I was a teenager... Most times when I would go to sit down, the legs would bend sideways, leaving the couch on the floor.
- I once sat up against the wall at my Mamaw's house... Me and my cousin were listening to music, hanging out in the laundry room. All of a sudden the wall caved in! There was a perfect outline of my backside carved out in the drywall!! I tried to hide the gaping hole with a laundry basket, but it didn't work. I was too embarrassed to tell my Mamaw what happened. In the morning, the whole house was full of people. My Mamaw had called my Dad and uncles to fix the wall!
- On the school playground, I was swinging... The swing broke. I tried to move away from it so no one would know it was me who broke it. I found out later that they all saw it happen.
- Me and my cousin were swinging on our porch swing, singing happy songs. My side of the swing broke, my leg was trapped up under the swing, leaving me to hobble for the next few days. When I was crawling across the porch, to go inside the house (I couldn't stand up) my Dad came out of the house and said, "get up before someone sees you!" (um hello Dad, if I could get up I wouldn't be crawling across the porch in the first place).
- I was getting into my cousin's swimming pool.... As I was climbing up the ladder, it bent in half and I fell face first into the pool. The latter was unuseable after that. I was stuck in the pool for hours, until I could figure out a way to get out sans latter.
- Attending a church function, we went to the little kids classroom... All they had were the little plastic chairs (I mean the ones for toddlers). Other people were taking the plunge and sitting in them anyway, So, I did too. When I went to get up, the chair was stuck on my a$$. I had to get someone to help me pull it off!
I tried to be comical about these things that happened to me... At the time, I am sure it wasn't funny, but looking back on these incidents now, I was LMAO!
Do any of you have any incidents like this that have happened to you, or is it just my extremely bad luck?