Monday, December 13, 2010

OMG! Someone please HELP me!!

This is going to be a long, weird post! The only way I know how to explain what is going on is to just write it all out... Please read and comment. I need friends now, more than ever!

You all are not going to believe this. I am still in total shock myself.... Just let me preface this by saying that yesterday a few hours before it was time for the kids to be picked up, the ex's mother left me a message saying he was sick and would not be picking them up. I felt a little uneasy because he has always called me himself, no matter what, so I wondered why he was having his Mom do the dirty work. I hate to say this now, but I figured he was in jail. I figured that the law had finally caught up with him.

The sad truth though: My ex-husband has lost his mind, and I mean literally!! Please don't think I am joking, I am dead serious. He is at the hospital with a guard surrounding him 24/7. The worst part is, no one felt the need to tell me. You wanna know how I found out? He called me at 6:23 this morning. He was "not right" to say the very least. He kept telling me these crazy stories about his new wife. He said that she, and his 2 older sons, were all "in it together," that they had locked him away so she could strip the house and steal his money, said she had already spent 100K  Knowing her character, I thought it sounded feasible.....

Until he kept talking, he was talking really fast, saying I needed to come and get him. He said that his wife and his 2 older sons took him to a place and left him, he said they were all "in it together" and trying to make people think he was crazy so they could steal his money and strip the house. It sounded a little weird but knowing his kids (thugs!) and her, I believed it.  He said he had been tied up all weekend, then locked up because they had made up lies about him. He then said that he needed a ride so he could get home, said he was at a church, then later he said that he was at the old elementary school.
I was seriously thinking that something was up. Then he started going on and on about crazy stuff. He said that his wife was too stupid to do it, so she had me and my sister get in on it with her. He said that we set up a thing on the computer for pizza coupons. Every time someone clicked on the coupon it would take his money. He said I got 400K, my sis got 700K, and his wife got 300K. Then he asked me what number to call me at and he said my cell phone number and his wife's cell phone number, and he said, "which one do you want?" I asked him what he was talking about and he said, "you know, in case things go down, which one do you want to shoot?" I asked him why we would want to shoot someone, then he said, "the police are chasing her for stealing cattle." He went on and on about crazy stuff for about 30 minutes, then he said he had to go, but he would call me in about 1.5 hours and I had to go pick him up because I was all he had left, no one else would help him.
I sat there stunned for about 10 minutes. I thought maybe his wife had told him all these things to upset him, or The BF told me to call the ex's mom to find out what was going on. At that point, we thought maybe his wife and his boys had fed him something to mess him up and dropped him somewhere.
Anyway, I called his mom. She confirmed that yes, he was in the hospital, and yes he has lost his mind. She was telling me about all the crazy things he was saying. She said that he had torn a hole in the wall because he thought my baby girl was stuck in the wall. I could tell she was choking back tears. She also said that she didn't want to tell me, she said she just couldn't tell me yesterday.
A few hours later, I called back the number he had called me from and he answered the phone. I was hoping, praying that he would be better.... He was worse! This time he was telling even crazier stories. He said that he woke up the other night and his wife had a butcher knife between her teeth and she was burning a cigarette into her hand. Then he said that she (and his sons) had people messing with his head. He said that they were crawling up in the ceiling, then shining a flashlight into his eyes. Then he said that they were all laughing at him, and when he came into the room, they would get all quiet. He also said that he snuck down the hallway to spy on them and he saw them cooking in the kitchen with rat poison. He said that they took all the dog food out of the box and just put a bunch of bowls in there to mess with him. Then they were cooking the poison to feed the dogs and cat, blame him, and make him look crazy. He said that all the stove burners were on 98 degrees and there was boxes and boxes of rat poison everywhere. Then he starts going on about an anecdote, said there was only 4 doses of it in the entire world and he had to pick who lived or died. He said that there was my kids, and his sons' 2 babies, then he said he had to tell his son, "sorry your little baby didn't make it." Then he said he was going to tell the doctor that his sons had testicular cancer, to fix them they needed to "give them 1/2 of a pain pill and de-nut them bastards." then he said they were laying there, in the bed asleep, like a little prince and princess, and they wouldn't get up to help him, said he never could get them to do anything. Then he said, "I guess they will have to get the fatty cow, or hog and roll out the barbecue sauce, I just don't know what else to tell them."
OMG what a mess! I didn't even think about it until I was talking to my Mom, but she told me that people use rat poison to make crystal meth. Maybe that is what he was talking about when he said they were cooking rat poison? Maybe he took it and it messed him up for life? I have heard stories about people doing drugs one time and then they are never the same! I have seen people around town who we called "crazy" because they were old druggies who had lost their mind. I remember this one woman from when I was a kid that we called "crazy Mary," she would walk up and down the streets of town with bright red boots, waving at people, talking to herself, and sometimes standing in the middle of the road flagging down cars.  I would ask my parents what was wrong with her and they would tell me she took some bad drugs that made her lose her mind. I remember her 2 young daughters that I went to school with. Other people in their family had to raise them. They were always embarrassed of her.
I don't know what to do. Really, there isn't anything I can do. I feel guilty for always bitching about how awful he was, I feel guilty about wishing bad things to happen to him, I feel guilty about not helping him sooner. I have always thought that he needed an intervention. Someone who cares about him to make him get off the drugs and get help. I wondered why I was the only one that cared... I mean why didn't his family help him when they saw him spiraling out of control?
I am in shock and disbelief! I know he and I had a love/hate relationship. I hated the way he acted, but deep down I still remember the good man he once was. Part of me will always love him, he is the father of my children. How will I ever explain to them what is wrong with him, or why they can't see him? If he doesn't get better, I will never be able to let them go around him (I know they can never go anywhere with him again anyway), even supervised, they would not understand why he was talking and acting so crazy. Another thing, which I don't want to think about.... If he doesn't get better, he won't be able to help me take care of them. No child support or anything. But, I don't want to talk about money! I would give all of that up for him to get better. I am not heartless, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Is there any hope? Have you ever known anyone to recover from this type of thing? My Mom and Sister are less than sympathetic, but I don't feel like anyone deserves this misery!!


  1. Besides the drug thing, it could be schizophrenia, which is a lot more common than people believe.

    You take care of YOU and the kids. Don't worry about the ex - he's reaping what he sowed. I don't want to sound like a cold-hearted bitch about it, but it's the best thing for you if he's been institutionalized (though he shouldn't have access to a phone). Now would be a good time to get a restraining order (which I don't much belive in, but is good for legal proceedings).

  2. Sue for sole custody and just tell the kids he's "sick". As they get older, you can tell them a little more, but don't get all het up about what to tell them now. Until and unless he cleans up his act and gets properly medicated, the children are not safe with him, so it's the perfect time to approach the judge about sole custody.

  3. Wow, that is crazy. Have you talked to the doctor or anyone that has seen this before? I am sorry that you and your kids have to go throught this and i hope he gets better for your kids sake.

  4. Oh my gosh! I agree with GunDiva..I'd tell the kids that he's sick and wait and see. It does look like a paranoid schizophrenia, but an onset like weird. How old is he? How did it start?

  5. Holy crap!!
    I didn't think schizophrenia had a sudden onset, and to my knowledge neither does syphillis (it eats the brain if left untreated). I wonder what's wrong. That's crazy!
    Yes, I think rat poison is used for meth and I have seen people who have used it go completely batshit crazy... but they were long time users.

    This really sucks that it's so close to the holidays. I hope you will be able to explain this to your kids and why he's not around over christmas :(

    I also hope that his family doesn't get all crazy with you about the kids and such.

  6. My thought about the "sudden" onset is that it hasn't been sudden at all - just attributed to his illegal drug use. Paranoid schizophrenics often self-medicate with illegal drugs. It will be interesting to see what the docs have to say.

  7. Call your lawyer. You can usually go down to the court house and get an emergency temporary custody order in a situation like this, since hes been hospitalized. That way, you will have custody just in case his mom tries to get the or something, or if they let him out and he tries to get them himself. I'm very sorry, this is probably going to go on for a long time.

    Don't feel bad, really, we all have those moments where we say or think bad things about someone else, and it isn't your fault that this happened to him. I agree with GunDiva, he probably was already mentally ill, and that would even explain why he did so many crazy things you thought were out of character for him.

  8. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is devistating especially being the father of your children. I have an uncle who actually took some sort of drug and it really messed him up. he was doing a little of the same talking crazy walking in a panic saying people were after him and just a mess. He fortunatley came off the High after some time but He was never the same. He sometimes goes off still talking about random things but He can atleast manage to live life and communicate with others. I hope your ex is getting the help he needs. HUGS


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