I live in the Twilight Zone.....que the creepy background music!

I am constantly amazed by Satan's actions, and the things he says and does, that I feel no one else in their right mind would ever do! On Monday he tells me he needs a sitter on his days too... Tuesday he asks me what I found out (by way of sitter)... Then Wednesday (after I tell the sitter I need her 5 days a week) he says that he is going to keep them with him this winter since work is slow and money is tight. (so now I have to make different arrangements with the new sitter, AND I will have to pay more for part time! People charge more because my kids will be taking up space that could be used for full time child(ren), and they are losing money!!! But he doesn't care what I have to do as long as all is right in his world)... And I almost choked on my Dt. Mt. Dew, over what he said in the next conversation....

Him: "Well, Satan's Mistress (his now wife) said she will watch them for you for $30. a day...
Me: (unable to speak, he keeps saying, hello, hello, are you there)... "Are you smoking crack, seriously? Have you been hitting the pipe? That is crazy sh*t you have ever said, I don't hardly think so!"
Him: Did you just ask me if I smoked crack? She is trying to do YOU a favor, blah, blah, blah
Me: (trying to bow out gracefully at this point, cause he obviously doesn't get it the other way) I appreciate the offer, really I do, but I don't think I will need her. If I change my mind, I will let you know. (wouldn't that be STUPID to PAY him and his wife to watch his own kids? Couldn't he have said, "Oh, well it is slow during winter, I wouldn't mind spending that time with them.")
Him: Well, it will all be ok, Cowboy (what he sarcastically calls the BF) can bring them here and drop them off, he can even pull all the way up to the door and step inside the house... She used to make him coffee every morning and there was never a problem (*remember she worked at the gas station in town, that is where she met Satan, also, BF used to go through there every morning as well to get coffee). I am thinking, yeah, and she gave you coffee and LOTS more than that, didn't she? I don't think so!!!
Me: (dying to hang up the phone and go PUKE!) Well, tell her I appreciate it, and I will let you know. But I probably won't need her, it takes too long to get there, it isn't on our way to work/school, etc.
Him: Well, let me know ahead of time.
Me: Oh I will, I have to go.
I hang up....

Thursday: He calls, Him: "So do you know when Satan's Mistress is going to start babysitting?"
Me: I told you I would let you know if I need her.
Him: Well, if they are coming here, we have to go to the store to get some stuff, so I have to know ahead of time.
Me: ok, I will tell you if I need you. I am off school for a while anyway, so they will be with me.
Him: Well, let me know.
Me: Ok, BYE! (Mistriss' 6 year old was removed from their house, so she now has supervised visits with her own child!! I bet I PAY her to watch mine!!!! He is such an idiot for even pushing this!)

I hang up. I am praying he gets the Fucking hint and drops it! He knows me well enough to know this isn't going to happen, and that he knows when I am trying to get out of something...

Tonight: He calls, Him: What days are going to need Satan's Mistress to babysit next week?
Me: Um, I told you I would let you know, remember? I am off school, I don't need her.
Him: So you are off school next week and the week after?
Me: (I lie just to buy myself some time) Yes, I won't need anyone for at least 2 more weeks, and my schedule will be different this time, they will probably just stay with me anyway.
Him: Well, just tell me a day or two before you need her.
Me: OKAY! I promise, if I ever need her to babysit I will call you and let you know.
Him: Ok, because we will have to go to the store and get some stuff, she said she would watch them WHENEVER you need her to, just let her know. (he always says the same SH*T every time he calls, I get tired of hearing him rambling on and on, when I have heard it already)
Me: OKAY! I sure will.
Him: Oh yeah, and the days I have them, she will be watching them too.
Me: Alright, you already told me that anyway, it is your days, you can do whatever you want.
Him: And since Cowboy used to go to Karen's to pick them up everyday, he can just come here to get them.
Me: No, he doesn't feel comfortable coming there, you can meet me in town, or bring them home.
Him: There is no sense in putting them in a car seat twice, he can just come here, we won't bite him. It isn't that far (it is at least 15 minutes past Karen's, 15 minutes back! plus I HATE that he thinks BF is afraid of him, tries to push him around because he is quiet and laid back).
Me: I don't think that is a good idea.... Can't you just meet him somewhere, or bring them home? You are the one changing the plan (we used to just pick them up from Karen's so we didn't have to look at him)
Him: Well, if he picks them up here on Tuesday, we will come to your house and pick them up on Sunday.
Me: I don't know Satan, Everything is all screwed up now. I don't know what to do. (this is a prime example of how he acts/how he won't shut up until he gets what he wants/his way)
Him: Oh, well Satan's Mistress says she can drop them off for you at your house on Tuesdays, on her way to pick her kid up from school at 3:00.
Me: Well, I am normally not home at 3:00... (note: I would rather DIE than have to look at her/speak to her/be within miles of her)
Him: Well, she said she could drop them off after she picks the kids up, at 4:30.
Me: We will see, I don't know what I will be doing those days... I need to think about things.
Him: She said you can call her on Tuesdays and tell her to drop them off at 3 or 4:30. (there is NO WAY IN HELL I would EVER under any circumstances, call her!)
Me: Ok, whatever, I will talk to you about it later... (I am now wanting to puke, cry, hide, die, anything to get out of this mess! I hate this woman... I don't want to be her friend, I damn sure don't need her to do me any FAVORS, I don't want her coming to my house, I don't want BF going there, but Satan will not shut up about it!!!! I don't even want her watching them, or driving them around, between them, they have wrecked over 10 times in the past 6 months from being high on drugs!! Fuck me running!!)
I hang up..........

Someone PLEASE tell me what to do here. It is like he can stroll in/out of their lives whenever he feels like it, change the rules whenever he feels like it, manipulate us until we do what he says.... It is never ending!!
I paraphrased our conversations, he normally repeats himself at least 5 times per each sentence he says! He has gotten worse sense he got on "the drugs." Mistriss' 6 year old was removed from their house, so she now has supervised visits with her own child!! I bet I PAY her to watch mine!!!!

P.S. Here is a picture from the day I drove past their house.... Their truck was buried in a tree about a half mile from their house (and they had abandoned the vehicle with the engine running, wipers swishing, radio on, no one was anywhere near it, whoever was driving RAN... if Satan gets in one more wreck or caught driving he will be in jail). It looked whoever was driving fell asleep and drifted slowly into a tree (they commonly "nod off" while taking their pills, it is a symptom of overdose from Oxycontin!!
Thank God they had already dropped my kids off when this happened, but "what if?"

I took this pic while driving by (it was raining), and all I had was my crappy cell phone, so the image is shitty at best! This happened the day before he and I went to court... His story was that SHE wrecked it and was laying out in the field for hours, hurt... Do you see anyone, anywhere near the vehicle? Me Either!