My day in court....

First off, the judge HATES me! I mean with a passion, that no one that doesn't even know you should have. The very first time I went to court, she accused me of being on drugs. When I asked why.... Her response was, "because of the way you look." I have no idea how one is supposed to "look" when they are going through a gut-wrenching divorce.

How did I look, you ask? Well I had a dress on, I was clean, my make-up and hair were precise, but I had also just lost 40 pounds in 2 weeks due to the horror of emotions I was trying to face, and on top of that, I was bleary eyed from crying and being up all night the night before. Also, because I dared to asked to speak in her courtroom, I guess she thought I was challenging her, she belittled, humiliated me, and made me fear her wrath! I, being the stubborn red-head (naturally) that I am, wanted to defend the accusations being hurled at me, faster than I could blink (by ex's attorney). They said I was an unfit mother, that he basically raised the babies alone (when he wasn't working 24/7), I was a gold-digger, a whore, a bum that wouldn't work, an addict, a trouble-maker, and was a terrible person.

Satan is good in court. He knows how to work the system, he plays on their sympathy, looks pitiful, and never speaks out of turn (I can understand, considering neither of my lawyers have ever hurled insults at him, or accused him of anything that is not true!!).

So this time at court, I thought I had at least one thing going for me, custody, or at least protection for my children, boy was I WRONG! We finally had proof against him, concrete evidence!!

I have to set this up..... Satan came into the courtroom wearing an "ankle bracelet" that they give criminals to track their whereabouts or monitor alcohol intake (not sure which reason he had it on for), he was arrested 2 times in 37 days, left the scene of the accident both times, no license, and he admitted to flying to Florida to buy illegal medicine. He is facing Wanton Endangerment Charges.....

When we approached the issue.... the judge looks at me and says.......

Judge: I don't like to grant sole-custody, besides, the allegations against him are no different than the allegations they claim against you from the beginning of the case....
Me: WTF? and I dared to speak outloud.... but I have never been arrested, never had charges, never wrecked a vehicle, never been in any trouble IN MY LIFE, there is no proof.
Judge: looking to the people around her laughing.... you don't have to have charges... sometimes the court makes its own "implications."
Me: dumbfounded and shocked......wondering what..just..happened... she just "implyed" that she thought I was an addict. What gives her the right? Is this legal?
Judge: I am ordering both of you to go across the street to take a drug test....
Me: Fine with me, I have nothing to hide
Ex's lawyer: Judge, he will probably be "dirty," he is trying to get clean, so it might still be in his system.
Judge: It only takes 72 hours for pills to get out of your system. It is going to be too bad if either of you test positive to anything you've had to pay for....
Me: Still wondering, WTF?
Satan: sweating, shaking, looking like he was going to puke and die.

So now, we have to go to court, again, on June 16th (or was it July) to get divorced, not even to decide on any kind of property agreement (that I'm not going to get anyway).  All they did was order him to continue paying his maintenance and child-support as is, until my son turns 3 (5 more months).

Also, his lawyer said he had been "looking for jobs," and he even put an application in at McDonald's, all I can say is WTFEver!! I can only pray that all this bad karma catches up with him, and he really does have to ask me if I "want fries with that?"

THROAT PUNCH THURSDAY--MAD MOMMIE EDITION!!!!

Well I have heard the idea of "throat punch thursday" thrown around. And this is the perfect Thursday for me to give it a go!! (if nothing else, scroll down for the picture--worth it, I promise!!)

Tomorrow--Friday, I will finally be divorced. The divorce was filed in December of 2008. I have no idea why or how in the world it takes so damn long to say "I don't" when it took all of 5 seconds to say "I do."

At the beginning of the week I was optimistic, even thought I hand one-upped him.....and I was finally going ot kick him where it counts. I may have been way off.

Turns out this Mother Effer is in foreclosure at the bank (so he/his lawyer says), and that means I can not squeeze one dime out of his old, ornery, stinky, filthy, ugly, cheating, lying, backstabbing, worthless ASS!
I will more than likely not get any type of maintenance after tomorrow, and my child support will GO DOWN.

I swear to God I think this is a "tactic" he has cooked up with his lawyer, and as soon as I sign the papers, he will get straight with the bank, and all will be hunky-dory, and he will resume life as normal. And all of his assets will be fine.... and he will keep everything. BUT, there is no way for me to prove this, and no way for me to give a lawyer more money to fight it. So basically, unless God has one more little miracle for me, I am screwed. I continue to have faith though, and hope for the best!! It is in God's hands, and I will get what I am supposed to get....nothing more....nothing less......that is all I can believe right now, if not I would just DIE because it would hurt so bad....knowing he doesn't even care that he is leaving us destitute!

As much as we live "hand to mouth" imagine what it will be like when I get less than $500. a month (from someone that makes over $250,000 a year)!! I am just beside myself and don't know what I am going to do! And I stay upset and worried with a big knot in my stomach.... wondering how we will survive.

Turns out, the person with the more money to pay their lawyer, gets more in the divorce, and can even get out of taking care of their own children, and can pick and chose which days they care to visit them as well. As of right now, he gets them on Sunday and Tuesday nights which means I can not go out on a Friday or Saturday night to do any grown up things, like normal people (including him) can do, I don't mean every weekend either, but shouldn't he have a weekend a month?.... But, I am hoping after court he will not be able to take them at all, until he gets his life straightened out... I am all about them seeing their Daddy, but not at the risk of him hurting one of them, while driving while intoxicated, or not being in his right mind to take care of them while he has them.

And remember me saying the post before last about the arrests and the charges he has pending against him? Turns out they are using that to their benefit.... he is going to admit to the court that he is a drunken addict loser, and therefore can not work and pay me any money. Doesn't that just figure?

I swear I may just kick his old ass myself!! I really might kick him in his bad knee, then jump on top of him when he drops and pummell his face in with my fists, then guage his eyes out, twist off his nose, stomp on his bad toes, drop an elbow on him, pull his hair out from the roots, knock what remaining teeth he has out of his face, and make sure that he can never reproduce, or even use that "equipment" again!

I AM THAT MAD.

The very LEAST I can hope for is that the judge grants me sole-custody....then my precious, precious babies will not have to be exposed to such a sorry excuse for a man! You can bet he will never sit through a supervised visit, therefore, he will never see those babies again.... And with his lifestyle, he shouldn't!!

Mommie Dearest answers Monday Minute "Snort" Addition.....

I am linking up with Ian over at The Daily Dose of Reality for the Monday Minute (dedicated to Daffy our bloggy buddy this week)

1 - Do you *snort*?
(what kind of *snort* are we talking about here Ian???)
-When I laugh sometimes I snort, sometimes I have been known to get so weak from laughing that I do actually roll around on the floor.......and if it is really funny I laugh so hard I start crying (actual tears)
-The Ex *snorts* heavy narcotics up his nose

2 - Our friend has a nickname, and it's Daffy. What's your nickname?Have a few.... My older sis always calls me by my first and middle name.... My Dad called me Gayle Baby until I was about 20 (embarrassed me to death).... The EX used to call me Tater Tot (I had personalized plates that said T8RTOT), princess, honey, and when he was mad he called me "Little Girl" but only ONE TIME..... The BF calls me his Baby Pumpkin (not sure why).....


3 - Do you know sign language?
I know the alphabet... I always spell out "I love you" to my new boyfriends (past & present) before I can actually say it outloud......

4 - What's a sample convo from your hood?
Baby-girl from the backseat (on the way to see her Dad), within a 30 minute time frame.....
BG: Mommie, one time when it was raining we almost wrecked the car in the woad (road)...
me: yep we sure did that was scary huh?
BG: I am going to tell Daddy that he is not allowed to cut my hair, cause I am Mommie's baby, and only Mommie is allowed to cut my hair...
me: that's right you don't let anyone cut your hair but Mommie, cause we are trying to let it grow out...
BG: Nana feeds me all kinds of food.....like yo-gurt and pud-ding and lots of stuff, and it makes me poop in my diaper......
me: you know you are a big girl and need to poop in the potty....you can't go to school until you poop in the potty
BG: well Nana feeds me all that food that makes me poop in my diaper
me: well Nana needs to stop doing that, so you can poop in the potty
BG: Mommie roll down the windows cause I am sweating.....
me: I can't roll down the windows cause the air is on......
BG: But MOM-MIE I want the windows down...
me: ok, ok, I will roll them down, can you not feel the air back there? Is that better?
BG: Bubby is sleeping
me: he is?
BG: I wish Daddy had a house like my house....
me: why?
BG: Cause I want Daddy to have a house like my house.....
me: ok
BG: Mommie, this is the way we always go to see Daddy....we have to be careful not to wreck, cause it would hurt me and mommie and bubby.....then we would have to walk to see Daddy.....
BG: Why are we stopping
me: cause we are at a red-light
BG: why are those cars going?
me: cause there light is green
BG: why are we stopping
me: ok, enough, let's listen to the radio
BG: why are we stopping
BG: is Daddy here, who is driving Daddy?

5 - Do you sleep with electronic devices - i.e. laptop, Blackberry, iPhone, etc?
My phone is beside the bed, my computer lays at the foot of the bed, the tv is on (sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night and change the channel when I don't like what is on)

The End of my Misery!!

Ok.... I have been taking long pauses between posts. I know, I know... But I have a good excuse. I have been getting a divorce. Finally after 1.5 long miserable years, this Friday, I will be divorced. No longer Mrs. Satan....

To no surprise....this has 2 opposite effects on me.

* On one hand I am relieved, happy for an end to the madness, the misery, the confusion.. The loyalty that I had towards this man will be gone, and I can finally move on....

* On the other hand, my guts are wrenching and I can't help but think about all the good times I had with said  *asshole* and how much I loved him, probably more than any woman should ever love a man that is only "human."  I wonder if my kids will ever be ok coming from a broken home....

All the dreams I had about getting a big fistful of cash are out the window...BOO....

Satan has blown so much money, and has so much debt that he is drowning in a river of loans, and none of which can result with me getting a cut on the loot....insert sobs here.....

We have however obtained 2 incidents in which the devil was involved in accidents, and he has charges filed against him for Felony Wanton Endangerment. The first episode (3/3/10), he hit a parked car, fled the scene, then was followed to a bank where he parked his vehicle, hopped out and was only charged with a "P.I." (public intoxication).... He admitted to police that he had consumed 2 beers and 2 OXYCONTIN pills that he had obtained in Florida by prescription (you know this is illegal right? since he is a resident of KY)...
-The second incident (4/10/10) he ran off the road and drove home with a flat tire....because of the marks he left on the road from his rim scraping the pavement, it was proved that he drove 3+ miles to his home, get this, ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!!

Now if that doesn't say "danger to society" I don't know what does!!

My lawyer is now seeking "Sole Custody" and supervised visits until he passes a series of drug tests, and/or completes a rehab program (YAY FOR MY KIDS). If this goes down as expected, I will be all the happier knowing my babies are finally safe in the arms of their mommie (me, LOL). Why did it take him getting arrested for them to finally believe what I had said all along.....shakes head back and forth in disgust.....

On another note: my lawyer has asked for his continued child support, continued maintenance, and for him to pay at least half of their daycare expenses until I graduate from college, which will be 3 years from now. Won't that KILL his old ass? Having to pay me "alimony" for 3 more years......
Well we know what they say about paybacks now don't we? But I am still bummed since I am not getting a big sweaty wad of cash (I needed it big-time).

So I have mixed reviews about the divorce....there are good things and bad things!! But if my kids are taken care of, what more can I ask for?

And speaking of college..... I got all A's...... I am very proud of myself! And I will look even better in court with my high GPA!

Please wish me luck....Pray that I get all we are seeking and that my children will be provided for.....

Thanks in advance for the support!

SLACKER!

Not sure why I am going so long in between posts now that I have internet access. Maybe it is the fact that I have been trying to study for my final exams, who knows. I just can't seem to find enough time in the day. Either way, I feel like a slacker. I am going to try and post more (for my own sake).

I have been seeing some other people tell "fact" about themselves on their posts, so I thought I would give it a try too.

* I am currently making a book of my kids online called "Double Trouble 2009 Edition." It will have pics of them from last year

* I am currently in school (college)

* I expect to make an "A" in all 4 classes

* I am VERY socially backward. My face can go from white to red in about 5 seconds (sometimes I don't even know it is coming) especially when I am caught off guard

* I used to be afraid to go to the grocery store... When I did go it would be after midnight

* I had a horrible relationship with my mother.

* My Dad left my Mom so many times I can't count them. When I was older (10+) I had to go with him when he left

* When I was in 5th grade I changed schools (went for 2 weeks) then went back to the original school because Mom & Dad got back together

* One night me & my Dad slept in the car

* I have 2 babies

* Sometimes I don't want to be a mother (at all)

* Sometimes I love my kids so much I could cry

* I drive an 04' trailblazer that is PAID FOR (thanks Satan)

* I am still married, but have been apart from my husband since 12/08

* The EX (Satan) is hooked on Oxycontin (pain medication) and flys to Florida on a regular basis to get it

* The EX missed 4 out of 8 visits with the babies last month

* I met with him today at lunch time

* I still love him so much (I know, stupid, stupid, stupid)

* I used to run from across the room and jump in his arms....I would say catch me, and he would throw his arms out

* I lost over 220 pounds (I know you already know this)

* I believe in GOD!

* I have a boyfriend who loves me more than he loves anything else in the world

* The BF loves my kids (maybe more than their real father does)

* I can drive a standard, I can drive a tractor

* I can cut and bale hay

* I can pull 2, 20 ft. wagons (hooked to a truck) through an 8 ft. gate opening without wiping out the fence post (this is very tricky in case you don't know)

* I can type 90+ words per minute

* I used to have an office job

* I can't swim

* I am terrified of heights

* I live in a town called Pleasureville

* Both of my kids were named after famous people, and have last names as first names (one rock and roll singer, one tv charachter)

* I wanted to name Bubby, Cash, Jagger, or Grayson but Satan wouldn't let me, he picked his name

* Both of my babies came early (35 & 34 weeks to the day each time)

* Both of my babies had the same due date, one year apart (November 16th)

* I get sick if I eat breakfast. I do most of my eating at night

* I love reading people's blogs, it gives me insight into how the rest of the world is

* I could go on and on with these but I'll stop here

Good Night..........Until next time..........

An impromtu photo shoot of yours truly......warning graphic images, LOL!!

For the record, I HATE dressing up or wearing make-up! I would rather just roll out of bed, jump in the shower, throw some gel in my hair, blow dry, and GO..... I have my morning routine down to less than 20 minutes!!

Anyway, the other day when I went to drop the kiddos off, I decided to get all dolled up to show Satan what he is missing out on (I caught him checking me out from the corner of his eye, but he didn't say a word!). You can't expect much from a PIG anyhow. Usually it is on my worst day he notices, WTF?  

When I got home I was wanting to capture my better side by letting the BF takes some pics of me.

Backstory: I used to be extremely overweight (lost over 220 pounds) and to this day I still struggle with my body image. I constantly call myself FAT, UGLY, and think I am positively DISGUSTING, most days. But on this particular day, I posed for the camera and was actually please with some of the pictures.

Allow me to share......

And for good measure I will throw in a few of the fam.....

Bubba J

Ms Priss

      
    Mr Wonderful

P.S. I am so happy with this new internet connection! It lets me do everything! Now it is a breeze to add pictures, watch videos, and facebook to my hearts content!!

Thanks for reading! I will be making my rounds to visit and comment soon. (I have been reading though)

I am BACK!

Wow, it has been a long time, but I am back! I finally got a connection. It is super fast too! So I will be doing a real post soon. I just now caught up..... I had 687 posts to catch up on (well half-assed anyway!).