ABOUT MONEY/SCHOOL:
I went to do the financial planning for "school" yesterday and found out that for a bachelor's degree, I would end up with $24,000 worth of loans when it was over (but will only take 3 years).....YIKES....to me that sounds like a ton of money to pay back....I guess if you have no money, it is hard to imagine ever having any.
What happened to all that "Obama paying for single mother's to go back to school?" I heard the money they had to GIVE away was already gone for this year, and pretty much next year!!
ABOUT RELATIONSHIP:
Anyway, I have a problem......The new BF is irresponsible....I feel as though I have to take care of him......and I HATE IT! All he does is give me his paycheck, then I have to make sure the bills are paid, I have to budget, I have to make sure we eat, have a phone, cable, or whatever we need.....He is OBLIVIOUS to how the money is spent.......I have tried to let him deal with his own money, and guess what? He couldn't even remember what he did with it!! He spent over $100. in 24 hours, but had no idea on what, and had NOTHING to show for it. And several times he kept his paycheck (around holidays).....and I would be thinking since he was BROKE already, that he must have bought me something really awesome, then I get a $15 necklace....And I am not complaining about what kind of gift I get, that doesn't matter and is not the point........I just need him to be responsible.. If he spends $15. on a gift, he should have the rest of his paycheck in his pocket....and then put it back into the household for the bills/etc....not BLOW IT!! (then not remember on what). I don't want to spend my life looking out for someone else! That is just the type of person I am (typical youngest child)....I am used to looking to someone else for direction.....I don't know how much longer I can take it.......he is good with my kids though, would never hurt me or cheat, would give me his last dollar, would do anything I asked of him........Wonder why I can't just be happy with him? Will it ever be able to work if we both need someone to look after us?? And will I always resent the fact that I have to "take care" of him, when I need someone to take care of me?
ABOUT SCHOOL:
Can any of you advise me? I really have no one I can talk to, that will help me make the right decision....Can you tell me if going to school for $24,000 is the right thing to do (is that a normal/good price for and education??)? After I get a bachelor's degree what kind of job will I be able to get?? I am so distraught....The schools shuffle you through like cattle with a tag in your ear.....they don't tell you what your options will be when you graduate, where you will be able to get a job, ETC., seemed like they just wanted to make sure you paid the loans back.........There was no one there I could talk to about carreer options, or the program that would work best for me, etc....
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Just when you think it can't get any worse.....IT DOES!!
Wow, just when I think I have heard/seen it all, Satan has me dumb-founded, yet again!!
As if my life could possibly get any worse, I learn this tiny little tidbit of information that he has been hiding....Wait for it......Get ready.......Here it is............
This M*THER F*CKER has been hopping on a plane and FLYING his sorry ASS to FLORIDA (with the psycho girlfriend) to get DRUGS!! ONCE A MONTH!! Can you say WTF?
This is the same 50 year old farmer who had never been outside the walls of his small town (except for our yearly jaunt to tennessee a few hours away), also the same cheap ass bastard that told me he couldn't give me any money for his kids for Christmas, and the same low life that told me again today, that in month or so he would be filing bankruptcy, or foreclosing on all of OUR assets (yes my name is on everything). I wonder why, you sorry sonofabitch???? He had the nerve to ask me what I was going to do when he couldn't afford to pay his child support!! How the F*CK would I know what me and YOUR children are going to do......starve, live on he side of the road, be without clothes? But you can bet your sweet ass he will have his PILLS!!!!
What a LOSER!! I really am at the end of my rope!! I don't know which way is up anymore!!
Also this week I found out that someone broke in his house and stole all of his drugs (I am guessing it was one of his older kids, or friends of his who knew they were in there), he couldn't call the cops, what would he say? (um, hello, someone broke in and took my feel good pills?). And amidst finding that out, I found out this was the 3rd time this has happened!!!! Wonder how safe my kids are there??
On top of all this, I called social services to report/make a claim......and you are NEVER going to believe what they said.........There is NOTHING they can do about it, UNTIL
A. He does drugs in front of the kids (how could they tell on him at 2 & 3)
B. He doesn't feed them, has no food in the house
C. He physically abuses them (leaves marks, and I PROVE he has done it)
So basically they said, "Keep sending your precious toddlers with the biggest drug addict/dealer in the surrounding 3 counties, when he kills one of them, we will arrest his ass, you have a nice day now, maam!"
Someone out there tell me that the justice system is fair.........anyone..........anyone????????????????
For some reason, I am so HURT by this! not that this is by far the worst thing he has done to us.....but coming from a man that was locked inside his own world, and hated anything about leaving the comforts of his town, trying anything new, or doing anything with his family....EVER, it is just so unexpected, and it also confirms my suspicion about "how far gone" he really is, and how he is taking the fastest train he can to his own GRAVE!!
As if my life could possibly get any worse, I learn this tiny little tidbit of information that he has been hiding....Wait for it......Get ready.......Here it is............
This M*THER F*CKER has been hopping on a plane and FLYING his sorry ASS to FLORIDA (with the psycho girlfriend) to get DRUGS!! ONCE A MONTH!! Can you say WTF?
This is the same 50 year old farmer who had never been outside the walls of his small town (except for our yearly jaunt to tennessee a few hours away), also the same cheap ass bastard that told me he couldn't give me any money for his kids for Christmas, and the same low life that told me again today, that in month or so he would be filing bankruptcy, or foreclosing on all of OUR assets (yes my name is on everything). I wonder why, you sorry sonofabitch???? He had the nerve to ask me what I was going to do when he couldn't afford to pay his child support!! How the F*CK would I know what me and YOUR children are going to do......starve, live on he side of the road, be without clothes? But you can bet your sweet ass he will have his PILLS!!!!
What a LOSER!! I really am at the end of my rope!! I don't know which way is up anymore!!
Also this week I found out that someone broke in his house and stole all of his drugs (I am guessing it was one of his older kids, or friends of his who knew they were in there), he couldn't call the cops, what would he say? (um, hello, someone broke in and took my feel good pills?). And amidst finding that out, I found out this was the 3rd time this has happened!!!! Wonder how safe my kids are there??
On top of all this, I called social services to report/make a claim......and you are NEVER going to believe what they said.........There is NOTHING they can do about it, UNTIL
A. He does drugs in front of the kids (how could they tell on him at 2 & 3)
B. He doesn't feed them, has no food in the house
C. He physically abuses them (leaves marks, and I PROVE he has done it)
So basically they said, "Keep sending your precious toddlers with the biggest drug addict/dealer in the surrounding 3 counties, when he kills one of them, we will arrest his ass, you have a nice day now, maam!"
Someone out there tell me that the justice system is fair.........anyone..........anyone????????????????
For some reason, I am so HURT by this! not that this is by far the worst thing he has done to us.....but coming from a man that was locked inside his own world, and hated anything about leaving the comforts of his town, trying anything new, or doing anything with his family....EVER, it is just so unexpected, and it also confirms my suspicion about "how far gone" he really is, and how he is taking the fastest train he can to his own GRAVE!!
Didn't take the lousy job.....
The lady with the job said they could not pay more than $9. for the receptionist job (as I have heard people say before, you get what you pay for, so good luck to them!!)....
I was a little upset, because I do want a job, or some kind of control over my life, but obviously, this wasn't right for me.
Upon further analysis of finances, etc., I discovered that it would have COST me money to work there! After paying a babysitter, gas money for travelling, lunch money, etc..., I would have been in the HOLE big time!! I would be about $300-$400 a month behind where I am currently!!
So thanks friends for the good advice!!
Tomorrow I go for finacial planning for school. I am going for a bachelor's degree in Business Administrative Management, and I should be above entry level at that time (close to midpoint), so I can make some decent money!!
But, here is to hoping all goes well, and being a single mother will finally pay off, and I will be able to get an education fairly cheap, if not I won't be able to go to school....I could never pay back $40,000 worth of loans.....
I was a little upset, because I do want a job, or some kind of control over my life, but obviously, this wasn't right for me.
Upon further analysis of finances, etc., I discovered that it would have COST me money to work there! After paying a babysitter, gas money for travelling, lunch money, etc..., I would have been in the HOLE big time!! I would be about $300-$400 a month behind where I am currently!!
So thanks friends for the good advice!!
Tomorrow I go for finacial planning for school. I am going for a bachelor's degree in Business Administrative Management, and I should be above entry level at that time (close to midpoint), so I can make some decent money!!
But, here is to hoping all goes well, and being a single mother will finally pay off, and I will be able to get an education fairly cheap, if not I won't be able to go to school....I could never pay back $40,000 worth of loans.....
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Job offer, but not very good pay, what should I do?
Well, I have been wanting a job for some time now.......and today I might have found one......Here is where the "But" comes in....
The pay sucks!! It starts at $9. an hour!! When I worked before I made $20. (which was good considering I had no college education). Granted I know it is hard to find a job these days (I have looked), but, would it be worth it?
The advantages would be:
1. I would be getting out of the house
2. Adult stimulation
3. my very own income
4. Feel better about myself
The disadvantages:
After losing what little bit of money I get from the EX, and other benefits, I would only be gaining about $50. a month!! And I would lose the medical coverage I currently have (for the babies, not myself), and we all know how much it costs to go to the doctor these days without some form of insurance, and my kids have been sick a lot lately, going at least once/twice monthly, which would now come out of my pocket, and add more expenses to the ones I can't pay as it is.
Also if I give up the money I am getting from EX now, I can never get it back, so if the job goes, I am back at square one, with no way to support my babies.
Would it be worth getting a job, if I make just as much staying home with my children? Should I hold out and wait on a better offer? Should I continue to persue the "higher education" route, finish my degree, then be able to get a better job??
I am so confused.....something I have wanted so bad comes along, and I feel bad about either decision I make!
I did reply to the company and tell them I was interested, but since I had tons of experience I felt as though I was worth more than the $9. an hour, and I asked if they paid more based on experience. It is up to them now, I am hoping they will offer me something good, and I can accept the job and be a working mother agian!!
The pay sucks!! It starts at $9. an hour!! When I worked before I made $20. (which was good considering I had no college education). Granted I know it is hard to find a job these days (I have looked), but, would it be worth it?
The advantages would be:
1. I would be getting out of the house
2. Adult stimulation
3. my very own income
4. Feel better about myself
The disadvantages:
After losing what little bit of money I get from the EX, and other benefits, I would only be gaining about $50. a month!! And I would lose the medical coverage I currently have (for the babies, not myself), and we all know how much it costs to go to the doctor these days without some form of insurance, and my kids have been sick a lot lately, going at least once/twice monthly, which would now come out of my pocket, and add more expenses to the ones I can't pay as it is.
Also if I give up the money I am getting from EX now, I can never get it back, so if the job goes, I am back at square one, with no way to support my babies.
Would it be worth getting a job, if I make just as much staying home with my children? Should I hold out and wait on a better offer? Should I continue to persue the "higher education" route, finish my degree, then be able to get a better job??
I am so confused.....something I have wanted so bad comes along, and I feel bad about either decision I make!
I did reply to the company and tell them I was interested, but since I had tons of experience I felt as though I was worth more than the $9. an hour, and I asked if they paid more based on experience. It is up to them now, I am hoping they will offer me something good, and I can accept the job and be a working mother agian!!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
I want a BLACKBERRY....
I am so addicted to blogging and facebook, I have decided that I want to get a blackberry....My computer is so slow, most of the time, I can't even open my email, and that SUCKS!
If I had a blackberry, I would be able to set it up where I could correspond via email with my comments, both on this site, and for the updates on facebook, and that has to be GREAT!
Also, my current cell phone carrier's prices are outrageous, to the point where we can not even afford to have text or data. There is another company I am looking at that has a $60. a month, unlimited use talk, text, and data with the blackberry, and that would be SWEET! It would also be cheaper than what I am currently paying, for just talk (and only 750 daytime minutes, but free mobile to mobile).
Here is to hoping for better phone/data services to come......and easier access to my favorite things!
It might be a month or two before it happens, but it is on the horizon!!!
Do any of you have a blackberry, or use your cell phone for keeping up with the internet? Is it as great as I hope it will be?
If I had a blackberry, I would be able to set it up where I could correspond via email with my comments, both on this site, and for the updates on facebook, and that has to be GREAT!
Also, my current cell phone carrier's prices are outrageous, to the point where we can not even afford to have text or data. There is another company I am looking at that has a $60. a month, unlimited use talk, text, and data with the blackberry, and that would be SWEET! It would also be cheaper than what I am currently paying, for just talk (and only 750 daytime minutes, but free mobile to mobile).
Here is to hoping for better phone/data services to come......and easier access to my favorite things!
It might be a month or two before it happens, but it is on the horizon!!!
Do any of you have a blackberry, or use your cell phone for keeping up with the internet? Is it as great as I hope it will be?
Friday, February 19, 2010
My friends house STINKS.....BAD
The other day we went to my friends house. As I walked through her door it hit me. The sickest, most offensive odor I have ever encountered. I am appalled at her current living conditions.
I came to the conclusion that it had to be from all the animals she has.....a turtle, 6 dogs, and a cat.....ALL IN HER HOME! I overheard her chatting with her teenaged daughter about one of her dogs pooping in the floor in the other room (thankfully I did not have to witness this), I also caught wind (no pun intended) of the fact that her cat refuses to use the litterbox, and I noticed that the cat and one of the dogs I saw looked "mangey," it was like they had an awful skin/hair condition, but who knows?
The other day she said that someone from the state dept. came to visit her, and told her that neighbors were complaining because her yard STUNK...OMG, imagine if they went inside the house, or maybe the smell they smell is from inside the house, since as far as I know, all of the animals use the hardwoods for a bathroom! I would never let my children live in such squallid conditions, what is she thinking? She has a 4 year old son and a 19 year old daughter.
And the worst part.......she is RENTING this house! Can you imagine what the owner would think?
Anystink, I think next time I will invite her to my place instead..............
I came to the conclusion that it had to be from all the animals she has.....a turtle, 6 dogs, and a cat.....ALL IN HER HOME! I overheard her chatting with her teenaged daughter about one of her dogs pooping in the floor in the other room (thankfully I did not have to witness this), I also caught wind (no pun intended) of the fact that her cat refuses to use the litterbox, and I noticed that the cat and one of the dogs I saw looked "mangey," it was like they had an awful skin/hair condition, but who knows?
The other day she said that someone from the state dept. came to visit her, and told her that neighbors were complaining because her yard STUNK...OMG, imagine if they went inside the house, or maybe the smell they smell is from inside the house, since as far as I know, all of the animals use the hardwoods for a bathroom! I would never let my children live in such squallid conditions, what is she thinking? She has a 4 year old son and a 19 year old daughter.
And the worst part.......she is RENTING this house! Can you imagine what the owner would think?
Anystink, I think next time I will invite her to my place instead..............
Friday, February 12, 2010
Retail Therapy
Well first of all, I want to shout out to all the blogs I follow, you guys ROCK!
You will never know how inspiring you have been in my life, at such a rough time.
Your posts keep me going and let me know that there is hope, also that other people struggle with their children too and don't know all the right answers either (so I shouldn't feel so bad about choices I make with mine, LOL), and some of you even made me realize that there are second chances at happieness.......And that what I am going through is not the end of the world, it will get better, and some of you just plain crack me up and take my mind off of everything bad......Starting this blog, and following all of you has helped me tremendously!!! So THANKS!
Anyway, I did a little retail therapy today....
I happened to stop and "browse" the shoe store (OOPS)....then I walked out with 4 pairs of shoes.....I only spent $47. so I am not too upset with myself, besides everyone needs some new stuff every once in a while, right?
It also helped that the shoes were buy one, get one half off.....so I got some really awesome high heel peep toes for $4 which is GREAT!
I always feel so good after I buy myself something new.....I feel so confident when I have something nice adorning my feet!!
The babies loved their new playroom.....let's see how long it takes them to tear it up.......I am betting one night when we are home for more than a couple of hours and it will be destroyed....but at least I can always straighten it back up.....It is so pretty though, I want to keep everything in it's place....YEAH RIGHT!
You will never know how inspiring you have been in my life, at such a rough time.
Your posts keep me going and let me know that there is hope, also that other people struggle with their children too and don't know all the right answers either (so I shouldn't feel so bad about choices I make with mine, LOL), and some of you even made me realize that there are second chances at happieness.......And that what I am going through is not the end of the world, it will get better, and some of you just plain crack me up and take my mind off of everything bad......Starting this blog, and following all of you has helped me tremendously!!! So THANKS!
Anyway, I did a little retail therapy today....
I happened to stop and "browse" the shoe store (OOPS)....then I walked out with 4 pairs of shoes.....I only spent $47. so I am not too upset with myself, besides everyone needs some new stuff every once in a while, right?
It also helped that the shoes were buy one, get one half off.....so I got some really awesome high heel peep toes for $4 which is GREAT!
I always feel so good after I buy myself something new.....I feel so confident when I have something nice adorning my feet!!
The babies loved their new playroom.....let's see how long it takes them to tear it up.......I am betting one night when we are home for more than a couple of hours and it will be destroyed....but at least I can always straighten it back up.....It is so pretty though, I want to keep everything in it's place....YEAH RIGHT!
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