The End of my Misery!!

Ok.... I have been taking long pauses between posts. I know, I know... But I have a good excuse. I have been getting a divorce. Finally after 1.5 long miserable years, this Friday, I will be divorced. No longer Mrs. Satan....

To no surprise....this has 2 opposite effects on me.

* On one hand I am relieved, happy for an end to the madness, the misery, the confusion.. The loyalty that I had towards this man will be gone, and I can finally move on....

* On the other hand, my guts are wrenching and I can't help but think about all the good times I had with said  *asshole* and how much I loved him, probably more than any woman should ever love a man that is only "human."  I wonder if my kids will ever be ok coming from a broken home....

All the dreams I had about getting a big fistful of cash are out the window...BOO....

Satan has blown so much money, and has so much debt that he is drowning in a river of loans, and none of which can result with me getting a cut on the loot....insert sobs here.....

We have however obtained 2 incidents in which the devil was involved in accidents, and he has charges filed against him for Felony Wanton Endangerment. The first episode (3/3/10), he hit a parked car, fled the scene, then was followed to a bank where he parked his vehicle, hopped out and was only charged with a "P.I." (public intoxication).... He admitted to police that he had consumed 2 beers and 2 OXYCONTIN pills that he had obtained in Florida by prescription (you know this is illegal right? since he is a resident of KY)...
-The second incident (4/10/10) he ran off the road and drove home with a flat tire....because of the marks he left on the road from his rim scraping the pavement, it was proved that he drove 3+ miles to his home, get this, ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!!

Now if that doesn't say "danger to society" I don't know what does!!

My lawyer is now seeking "Sole Custody" and supervised visits until he passes a series of drug tests, and/or completes a rehab program (YAY FOR MY KIDS). If this goes down as expected, I will be all the happier knowing my babies are finally safe in the arms of their mommie (me, LOL). Why did it take him getting arrested for them to finally believe what I had said all along.....shakes head back and forth in disgust.....

On another note: my lawyer has asked for his continued child support, continued maintenance, and for him to pay at least half of their daycare expenses until I graduate from college, which will be 3 years from now. Won't that KILL his old ass? Having to pay me "alimony" for 3 more years......
Well we know what they say about paybacks now don't we? But I am still bummed since I am not getting a big sweaty wad of cash (I needed it big-time).

So I have mixed reviews about the divorce....there are good things and bad things!! But if my kids are taken care of, what more can I ask for?

And speaking of college..... I got all A's...... I am very proud of myself! And I will look even better in court with my high GPA!

Please wish me luck....Pray that I get all we are seeking and that my children will be provided for.....

Thanks in advance for the support!

SLACKER!

Not sure why I am going so long in between posts now that I have internet access. Maybe it is the fact that I have been trying to study for my final exams, who knows. I just can't seem to find enough time in the day. Either way, I feel like a slacker. I am going to try and post more (for my own sake).

I have been seeing some other people tell "fact" about themselves on their posts, so I thought I would give it a try too.

* I am currently making a book of my kids online called "Double Trouble 2009 Edition." It will have pics of them from last year

* I am currently in school (college)

* I expect to make an "A" in all 4 classes

* I am VERY socially backward. My face can go from white to red in about 5 seconds (sometimes I don't even know it is coming) especially when I am caught off guard

* I used to be afraid to go to the grocery store... When I did go it would be after midnight

* I had a horrible relationship with my mother.

* My Dad left my Mom so many times I can't count them. When I was older (10+) I had to go with him when he left

* When I was in 5th grade I changed schools (went for 2 weeks) then went back to the original school because Mom & Dad got back together

* One night me & my Dad slept in the car

* I have 2 babies

* Sometimes I don't want to be a mother (at all)

* Sometimes I love my kids so much I could cry

* I drive an 04' trailblazer that is PAID FOR (thanks Satan)

* I am still married, but have been apart from my husband since 12/08

* The EX (Satan) is hooked on Oxycontin (pain medication) and flys to Florida on a regular basis to get it

* The EX missed 4 out of 8 visits with the babies last month

* I met with him today at lunch time

* I still love him so much (I know, stupid, stupid, stupid)

* I used to run from across the room and jump in his arms....I would say catch me, and he would throw his arms out

* I lost over 220 pounds (I know you already know this)

* I believe in GOD!

* I have a boyfriend who loves me more than he loves anything else in the world

* The BF loves my kids (maybe more than their real father does)

* I can drive a standard, I can drive a tractor

* I can cut and bale hay

* I can pull 2, 20 ft. wagons (hooked to a truck) through an 8 ft. gate opening without wiping out the fence post (this is very tricky in case you don't know)

* I can type 90+ words per minute

* I used to have an office job

* I can't swim

* I am terrified of heights

* I live in a town called Pleasureville

* Both of my kids were named after famous people, and have last names as first names (one rock and roll singer, one tv charachter)

* I wanted to name Bubby, Cash, Jagger, or Grayson but Satan wouldn't let me, he picked his name

* Both of my babies came early (35 & 34 weeks to the day each time)

* Both of my babies had the same due date, one year apart (November 16th)

* I get sick if I eat breakfast. I do most of my eating at night

* I love reading people's blogs, it gives me insight into how the rest of the world is

* I could go on and on with these but I'll stop here

Good Night..........Until next time..........

An impromtu photo shoot of yours truly......warning graphic images, LOL!!

For the record, I HATE dressing up or wearing make-up! I would rather just roll out of bed, jump in the shower, throw some gel in my hair, blow dry, and GO..... I have my morning routine down to less than 20 minutes!!

Anyway, the other day when I went to drop the kiddos off, I decided to get all dolled up to show Satan what he is missing out on (I caught him checking me out from the corner of his eye, but he didn't say a word!). You can't expect much from a PIG anyhow. Usually it is on my worst day he notices, WTF?  

When I got home I was wanting to capture my better side by letting the BF takes some pics of me.

Backstory: I used to be extremely overweight (lost over 220 pounds) and to this day I still struggle with my body image. I constantly call myself FAT, UGLY, and think I am positively DISGUSTING, most days. But on this particular day, I posed for the camera and was actually please with some of the pictures.

Allow me to share......

And for good measure I will throw in a few of the fam.....

Bubba J

Ms Priss

      
    Mr Wonderful

P.S. I am so happy with this new internet connection! It lets me do everything! Now it is a breeze to add pictures, watch videos, and facebook to my hearts content!!

Thanks for reading! I will be making my rounds to visit and comment soon. (I have been reading though)

I am BACK!

Wow, it has been a long time, but I am back! I finally got a connection. It is super fast too! So I will be doing a real post soon. I just now caught up..... I had 687 posts to catch up on (well half-assed anyway!).

A stroll down memory lane.....

I snagged my sisters computer again today so, I want to share this picture with you (my bloggy peeps).

It is when my kids were 20 months and 9 months old. They were so innocent and well-behaved back then, LMAO!

They were sitting in a Huggies diaper box. Now days, not only would they both not fit in there, they would maul each other in that tight of a space! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. I think they are super cute!!

Yesterday I linked up with Ian (Daily Dose of Reality). He is doing a series of posts about how he met his wife, so I did a story about how I met my new guy. Check it out if you haven't already, and if you don't know Ian, go check him out (link above), you won't regret it!

P.S. I am working on a story for "Throat Punch Thursday!" Hopefully I can have access to a computer to post it this week, if not, it will be coming in the future.

How we met......While I have access to a computer!!

Hey bloggy people!!!! I borrowed my sisters computer, so I thought I would write a post while I can. It has been pretty boring around here. I am going to school faithfully, haven't missed a day!! I took a few tests for midterms and feel like I am doing pretty good. (Algebra SUCKS!)...

I thought I would tell my story of "how I met the new guy." I was inspired by Ian's blog. He is writing a series of posts about how he met his wife, they start here (part 1). If you don't follow his blog already, DO IT, he is super funny. Actually what attracted me to keep reading his blog is when he posted about someone pooping out of the second story window, after that, I was hooked.....

Go ahead, check it out.

Now on to my story. How I met my new guy.

I had just cut the ties with Satan (obviously he is the evil ex, father of my toddlers who cheated on me, then left me high and dry with nothing). I was trying to get on with my life, but it had been merely weeks since he actually left, and I was still LOST to say the least. I had a 26 month old and an almost 15 month old, I had no job, no money, and no life. But I had decided that on this day, January 16, 2009 I was getting out of bed and going to town.

I headed to Wal-Mart. (after running into Satan on my way). I went inside and did my shopping, being intensionally slow to kill some time, besides, I had nothing to do, and the rest of my life to do it. Thank God, my mom knew I was dying on the inside and she took the babies often.
It was coming on noon and I had looked at everything in the store and had my cart spilling over, it was time to go. I went through the line and put my items on the conveyor belt, the checker (unaware of my angst I'm sure, unless I told her, which I was apt to do in those early days, cause it hurt so bad, I wanted someone to tell me how awful he was and make me feel better) scanned my stuff then looked at me. OOPS, being the dumb-ass that I am, I forgot my wallet, OUTSIDE. So here we go, mad dash to the ole' trail blazer to get the check book. 

As I was getting the funds, I looked up and saw a white truck pull up in front of me. IT WAS HIM! I had heard of this guy before, long story short, he dated a woman who my husband cheated on me with months earlier. A golden opportunity presented itself to me! I could hook up with this man and make not only my EX jealous, but I could f*ck over the evil bitch who he was cheating with too! Wow! What a great concept!!!! I stood there dumb-struck and stared in disbelief.....What do I do now? I am too shy/backward/stupid in "real-life" to actually approach someone. I have always been this way. So I was frazzled, and walked slowly back into the store (almost running into the jeep next to me because I kept looking back at him).

I paid for my stuff, took the giant cart outside and unloaded my groceries. HE came out at the same time and put some dog-food in his truck. I just sat there and stared (again).

What happened next was shear fate. He went back in the store. I new I had to move fast. I found a notebook, wrote my digits down and tip-toed over to put the note under his windshield wiper. I found out later that he was watching me the whole time! And he still laughs about it!

As fate would have it, he got the wrong change in the store which is why he had to go back in.

Anynewguy, He called me before I got out of the parking lot, I asked him if he was seeing anyone, he said no, then I asked if he wanted to go out some time, and he said "How about tomorrow night?" And the rest is history. I called him back later, we talked on the phone all night, and we have been together every day since then. He stepped in, right where Satan stepped out. He takes better care of my kids than the EX ever did, and he is with them way more (their real daddy sees them twice a week, basically for a few hours, never on a weekend, and he cancels out on them regularly).

I guess I needed him to take care of us. He has provided for us when we had nothing. He has watched my kids when I couldn't find the strength to get out of bed (when the hurt and depression consumed me). And he stood back and gave me time to heal, never rushing me, or pushing me.

WHAT A GUY! Instead of asking God why I had to endure a divorce and so much pain, I need to start thanking him for blessing me with a wonderful man who loves ALL THREE OF US!

NO INTERNET!

This is so crazy! Since we switched our phones, my at.t internet got disconnected somehow as well (guess they figured if I didnt need their phone service I didnt need their broadband either!). So I am only able to read/post via this crappy a$$ phone with a screen the size of match-box and buttons no bigger than a very worn down pencil eraser. Believe me, it sucks big time. Although I did dilligently read everyones posts and I am currently caught up (even though it took twice as long, I could not view pics, and I CAN NOT COMMENT). I hope to have new service soon, then I have big plans to start linking up and participating in some of the cool writing prompts I have been seeing around!! Until then....that's all for now folks.